I Want What I Can't Have

Consequences

"Where do you think Haymitch is?" Finnick asked.

"Enjoying himself I expect, he's finally free," Johanna laughed.

"Well not properly," Finnick said.

"I think he's gone to meet them," I said.

"What?" she replied.

"I think that Haymitch has gone to meet Katniss and Peeta," I repeated.

"Why would he do that," Finnick scoffed.

"Don't you see? Snow isn't going to like this. She messed up his system and we didn't buy into the whole love story, so who's to say others didn't too? What if people start to act up because of this. They're a threat to Snow but also in danger because of him," I whispered.

"Oh shit," Johanna murmured.

"We aren't going to get roped into more things are we?" Finnick asked.

"I guess only time will tell," I replied.

"That's a nice way of putting: we're fucked," Johanna laughed.

***
I woke up getting ready to present myself at the Victory tour. I'd called Johanna last night and promised I'd tell her how today was so she could prepare for tomorrow. After the stunt the two pulled in the arena I thought that was it but NOPE. Peeta decided to give money and Katniss conducted this whole speech about Rue causing riots. District 8 is not a calm district, so if eleven did that then God knows what we'll do.

I glanced at my body in the mirror and for the first time in about 6 years noticed all my scars and burns and flaws and traced over them with my fingertips. They were cold against my warm flesh. I realised then how much damage had actually been done, what he had turned me into. Snow had destroyed us all and if it takes this girl from twelve to stop him, I'm here for it. I slipped on some trousers and a blouse covering my marked body before smoothing the material down. All this type of stuff was mad in eight . Funny how we provide for the Capitol and get nothing back.

I walked to the place that haunted me, the place where I once stood and was reaped. I took my place on the ugly wooden chair that had probably been there for centuries and watched as Katniss and Peeta walked out. They'd dolled her up, making her look 35 instead of a young 17 year old. Some things never change. I listened to the speech that had most certainly been written by a member of the Capitol. It was THAT demoralising. But my District's people looked at Katniss in rage.

"Tell us what you really think!"

"Be our mockingjay!"

"Don't let Snow silence you!"

And she stood there and did nothing. Snow was going to do what he had always done. Put a stop to threats. The two retreated from the stage and that's when everything went pear shaped. Two men and a woman in the back sung the mockingjay sing and symbolised loyalty to Katniss. Peacekeepers rushed towards them weapons drawn but my people also had weapons. All in the flash of moments people among people began fighting. Some were injured and some were dead. Blood spouted everywhere. Fires were lit a posters were held up depicting the mockingjay pin. I was in two minds. I really badly wanted to fight but I could loose Finnick or Johanna, so I ran to my house and cried.

***
I was sat on my sofa after taking to Johanna and explaining all that had happened, when I got a knock at my door. I opened it to see two girls. Bonnie, who looked about 17 now and Twill. Twill and I used to be in the same class at school, she was sweet and nurturing. She used to teach the children.

"Twill!" I smiled.

"Flaire," she grinned.

"Hello Bonnie," I said.

"Hello," Bonnie whispered.

"Come in," I said.

"No, no we can't," Twill explained.

"Oh...why?" I asked.

"We're going to find them," Bonnie said excitedly.

"Who?" I asked.

"The rebellion," Twill whispered, "in thirteen."

"Thirteen?" I said, perplexed.

"We've brought them bread as an offering," Bonnie told me.

"Come with us," Twill murmured.

"I'd love to but I have friends here that I need to protect and if I go missing then that could post lots of people at risk," I explained.

"Oh," Bonnie said.

"But I'll be there when I can," I said, "when I get a chance to leave."

"See you on the other side then Flaire," Twill smiled.

"Be safe Twill and you Bonnie, goodnight and good luck," I said.

***
Johanna's tour went surprisingly well. Seven stayed calm, probably not wanting a redo of what happens in our district. I hoped Bonnie and Twill were still alive by now. I kept thinking about them for no apparent reason. Maybe I was worried. I just wanted them to get there alive at least. The peacekeepers came down heavy on eight though, killing many. I had a few bombard into my house but there's nothing a little self-defence can't do. I was in this mixture and penetrating fear and excitement. This was our chance to get a say and get Snow, the Capitol, the Games and this whole stupid system out of the way. But then I had to remind myself of the risks and the loss that would most certainly be a result. Was it worth it? I mean if it happened and we looked back, would we have still down it? I decided to call Finnick to get his opinion.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi Finn," I said, "it's me."

"Oh hey Flaire," he replied, "how you doing?"

"I'm okay, you?" I asked.

"Alright ," he sighed.

"I wanted to call to get you're opinion on all this," I explained, "there have been a lot of uprisings here."

"Really?" He murmured, "not much had been broadcasted."

"That's because they don't want people seeing what we're doing," I replied.

"And you? Are you part of it," he asked.

"No, because that would mean risking yours and Johanna's lives and that isn't a position I want to be in," I explained.

"Thank you," he said.

"Look, this girl, Katniss," I said, "she's something and she's going to change everything. I've wanted this forever but Snow is going to kill so many, is it worth it?"

"Listen to yourself," Finnick snapped, "you sound like you are Snow!"

I stayed silent not knowing what to say.

"Sorry," he murmured, "I'm just worried that's all."

"We all are," I said softly.

"I have to go Flaire," he replied gently, "goodbye."

"Goodbye," I said as he hung up the phone.

***
Okay so for non-book readers Bonnie and Twill do appear in the books and they meet Katniss and give her this piece of bread with the mockingjay symbol on it which kind of inspires her, if that makes sense. Anyways had to include them because they are from Flaire's District!
Also I saw this thing where Bonnie married Gale??? I don't remember this from the books (I don't even remember her being mentioned again) so is it just fanfic?
Do I sound too rushed?
I feel like I do...
Hope you enjoyed anyway ❤️❤️❤️
Rosabella xx