I Want What I Can't Have

Slayed With An Axe

Last night the tributes ate there last proper meal. Today they'd go into the arena. I swiftly made my way down four floors and knocked on the door. Finnick opened, smiling, it was nice to see him genuinely happy. Most of the time, he faked it, for the cameras, for the his 'clients' and sometimes for me.

"I have lots of champagne," he said.

"And I have a champagne addiction my dear so don't you dare give it to me," I giggled.

"Oh but it's really good, Capitol stuff," he smiled, "Snow hasn't even had a chance to poison it yet."

"Ooo lucky us," I joked, as he set the glasses on the table and I flicked on The Hunger Games.

The tributes were standing in their podiums as an extremely annoying running commentary, from Caesar Flickerman began. He was second on my hate list after Snow. We watched as the timer counted down and the bloodbath began. Of course the Career Districts went straight for the weaponry and got exactly what they wanted, killing anyone who attempted to get anything. Cannon after cannon after cannon went off. I noticed the girl from seven sneak past and grab an axe and run off the other way. Xavier and Cerise had both died in the bloodbath. They'd been expecting it, I supposed. Finnick's male tribute had also died. The Careers, as always, grouped together and claimed the cornucopia, whilst the remaining tributes scattered around the arena. I reached for the glass of champagne and watched.

***
By noon, the careers  had killed off about three more tributes. Now only the Careers, the girl from seven, the boy from three and the boy from nine. This would be fun. Most predicted the boy from one to win, others thought the girl from two. I didn't care. I was lapping up all of this Finnick time like a dog to water on a hot summers day. That night we lay in each other's arms. Safe and comforted, something Snow couldn't take away from us. Not now. Not ever. No one would be able to make me feel the way I do for Finnick Odair, I just wish he felt like me. Now wouldn't that make life so much easier?

"Flaire," he whispered.

"Hmmm," I said.

"Do you think we'll ever get out?" He asked.

"What? Get out of what?" I replied, sitting up suddenly.

"This," he murmured.

My heart sank, "you don't want to be with me?"

"No!" He laughed, "what would I do without you? I mean this endless cycle of nightmares and mentoring and death."

"I hope so," I said, "but Snow always gets what he wants."

"One day, something will change," Finnick smiled.

"I really want it to," I said quietly.

***
The boy from nine had killed the boy from three, but then he was killed by the Careers. Now there was only the girl from seven and them left. She was already dead meat. With a training score of 5 she had no chance against five careers with score of 9 or 10. The camera flicked to her as she began to approach the Career pack at the cornucopia, what was she playing at? We watched as she came closer....and closer. Finnick's tribute spots her and calls out to the others who are laughing at the girl approaching them.

"Come to die?" the boy from two taunted as they approached her.

"I think she has," the boy from one smirked.

"This should be fun," the girl from one smiled.

"More like fast," the girl from two laughed.

Finnick's tribute remained quiet and in the background for the most part.

"Fuck. Off." The girl from seven yelled, drawing her axe.

That's when she began to swing it with such control and power, leaving clean sweeps as she removed limbs. She'd been hiding her talent, pretending she was weak. That was smart, really smart. Within two minutes all the Careers were dead and she was victor. Smiling the girl covered in their blood stuck a middle finger up at the dead bodies and laughed. I liked her.

"What's her name?" I asked Finnick.

"Johanna Mason," he replied.

"Well I'm very excited for the victory tour then," I smiled and this time I wasn't lying.

***
Saying goodbye to Finnick was bad. It felt like Snow was getting just what he wanted. Another year of torture and nightmares for me I supposed. I endured the long train ride home and wasn't bothered by anyone or anything. All was calm. As we rode past District 4 I felt like crying. No Finnick for a year felt too long. I sighed watching the scenery pass, Snow sure knew how to mess with us.

I got into my house and sat in my bedroom for what felt like hours. My brain couldn't function and I felt alone. My arms were cold and covered in goosebumps yet outside there was a mild temperature. I started to feel sick and laid down on my bed, closing my eyes. Then darkness clouded my vision and away I went to hell.

***
I had always hated Victory Tours, never understood them. Why do I want to look into the eyes of those who's children I have killed? Why? Probably Snow's sick idea. I had to attend them though and talk to the victor, say well done or something like that. But this, I was genuinely excited for. I shoved on a top and some trousers before waiting for Johanna to turn up. As soon as the knock was heard on the door I rushed towards it and opened to dine the girl standing there. She was definitely taller than me, despite being a few years younger. She was very pretty as well, beautiful eyes and long dark hair. She came in a sat down.

"God I hate this dress," she sighed, looking down at the sequinned mess.

"I've got stuff you can borrow," I said, leading her to my bedroom and showing her my drawers, "take whatever."

She smiled, grabbing some thing and changing, in front of me. I loved her!

"You're performance in the games was smart, really smart and flawless," I said.

"Thank you," she said, "I'm glad someone thinks so."

"What? Who doesn't?" I asked, as we returned to the kitchen.

"I've already had my meeting with Snow. Apparently, he doesn't want me to start any riots," she said, annoyed.

"Riots?" I questioned,

"Yeah, he doesn't want people from lower class districts like us taking over, you know like a rebellion," Johanna explained.

"He's a coward," I said.

"Too fucking right," she snorted.

"How are you?" I asked, "I mean really, the games don't have the nicest of effects on people."

"Mentally I am nothing anymore. Nightmares just haunt everything," she sighed.

"I get them too," I murmured, "you can call me though, if you need to. And I'm sure Finnick will say the same when you meet him."

"Finnick Odair?" She asked.

I nodded, "want some champagne?"

"How could I say no?" Johanna replied.

"It isn't as good as the capitol one but we'll have to settle for it," I said, pouring two glasses.

"I watched your games before I went in," she said suddenly.

"Really?" I asked, "God I probably looked like a headless chicken."

"You didn't, you were actually quite helpful," she smiled,taking a sip.

"Well thank you," I smiled back.

"I want to go back to seven," she said, almost sadly, "but stupid Snow won't let me."

"Johanna, you are becoming more desirable by the second. To people in the Capitol. Your looks and guts provide an overall desirable character. It won't be long before he asks you to become a prostitute," I said suddenly, "I said no and he killed my family."

"You're serious?" She asked.

"Yes, he's a brutal man," I said.

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"So am I," I said,

***
JOHANNA ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thanks for reading,
Rosabella xx