I Want What I Can't Have

He Remembered

I was angry and I didn't know why. He didn't do anything wrong. I mean he had. But the man I loved had just told me he loved me and I'd yelled at him. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. I cannot believe it. I ran to the hospital to find Jo. As I got there I swung back the curtain that shielded her bed from everyone. She was awake.

"Woah, geez, you're up and running," she laughed.

"Not a good time Jo, I've fucked everything up!" I yelled, earning me a few looks from various doctors.

"Oh," her face grew serious, "how bad?"

"The worst I've fucked up in my entire life!" I exclaimed.

"Oh my lord," she chuckled.

"It's not funny!" I yelled, "Finnick just told me he loved me and I screamed at him, basically rejecting him!"

"What?!" Jo exclaimed, "I thought you loved him!"

"I do!" I said.

"Then why the hell did you reject him?" She replied.

"I didn't mean to!" I yelled.

"You did mean to?" She questioned.

"No, I got angry and I don't know why," I sighed, "how am I going to tell him I love him now?"

"Don't ask me," Jo smiled, "do you know anything about my love life?"

"Yeah, it's shit," I huffed, "I chose the wrong person to talk to."

"You sure did," she replied.

"What do I do?" I asked.

She only shrugged. Shit.

***
I walked slowly around thirteen taking it all in. It was weird thinking this place and this whole plan had been in the making years ahead. Suddenly a certain someone caught my eye and it seemed I'd caught her eye too. I went and sat next to Katniss Everdeen in that empty corridor with one singular bench in it. For a while we sat staring into nothingness. In the weirdest way it was comforting.

She spoke first, "how are you?"

"Dead inside. You?" I asked.

"Pretty much the same," she grimaced.

"We all are don't worry," I laughed.

"I never said thank you," she murmured.

"What's there to thank me for?" I scoffed.

"You helped me in the arena, helped Pe.... him in the prison, tried to warn me not to go near him," she breathed, the tears welling up in her eyes.

"I didn't want to see anyone get hurt," I said, "not now, not anymore."

"Neither do I," she whispered, "but this Mockingjay stuff... I can't do it."

"Don't bullshit," I said, "why are you here? Why do you think it's you?"

"I didn't ask to be here," she replied, "I never wanted to be a mockingjay."

"Some thing we're just destined to be," I shrugged, "Cinna always knew."

"There's another thing," she chuckled bitterly, "everyone I've ever loved has ended up getting hurt. My Dad died. Cinna died. Peeta is hijacked. You were tortured. My home is burnt to the ground... the list is endless."

"Katniss," I said slowly, "this is not you. It is Snow. And if you don't be that mockingjay, people will carry on getting hurt. You Dad died in the accident because of Snow's Districts, Cinna was murdered by Snow's peacekeepers, Peeta was hijacked by Snow, District 12 was burnt and bombed by Snow! Can't you see? It's him."

She closed her eyes and let a few tears fall, I didn't know whether I needed to hug her but I decided to anyway. I held her in my arms and comforted her. She needed it. I could tell for so long she hadn't been held in someone's arms.

"Don't doubt yourself," I said, "never do it. If it comes down to it and I have to die for this rebellion and for a better future I will. These people aren't dying for you. They're dying for the rebellion because of Snow's treatment towards them. Got it?"

"Yeah," she sniffled, as we pulled away.

I looked at her and smiled, "look at what you have become."

She laughed through her tears, "thank you."

"Hey, I'm here forever," I giggled back.

"What can I do to help you?" She asked.

"Sort my love life out would be a start," I said rolling my eyes.

"Love life?" She replied.

"Well I've loved this certain someone for a while and they said they loved me and I yelled at them," I huffed.

"Is this certain someone Finnick?" Katniss asked.

"That obvious?" I sighed.

"I knew since the games," she shrugged.

"Oh lord!" I chuckled.

"Why don't you just go and find him and talk to him?" She asked.

"I don't know what to say," I shrugged.

"Tell him your sorry and that you love him," Katniss replied, "tell him you've loved him forever and you want to be with him. That's what I'd do if Peeta were back."

I nodded and gave her a quick hug, "thank you Katniss, really."

"No, thank you Flaire," she smiled.

***
I found the room and opened the door. Finnick was sat on his bed playing with his rope. As soon as I stepped in he stood up. I slowly closed the door behind me and we approached each other. When we were a foot away from one another I opened my mouth to speak.

"I'm sorry Finn," I whispered.

"Do you remember that night I got very drunk, after Annie died?" He asked.

"Yes," I replied.

"Do you remember what you said to me?" He asked.

"I told you not to drink," I said.

"No, you told me you loved me," he said quietly, "and I love you too."

And then he kissed me and I kissed back. His lips were soft and warm on my own. He placed a hand on my waist and the other in my hair. Kissing Finnick Odair was better than I'd ever imagined. When we finally broke apart I stared into his sea green eyes in shock.

"How do you remember that?" I asked.

"Because I wasn't drunk, not properly anyway," he murmured.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner, you asshole!" I said, "you knew the whole time!"

"Well when I finally fell in love with you I didn't know if you'd lost feelings," he shrugged.

"How could I ever?" I replied, smiling slightly.

"I've waited for this for so long," he chuckled, holding my body closer to his.

"Darling I've waited years," I laughed.

And we kissed again.

***
FINALLYYYYYY
THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR
AHHHHHH💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗