I Want What I Can't Have

Not Back There

Finnick had fallen asleep after Cressida and I had cleaned and wrapped his leg. He was in so much pain though he didn't want to admit it. Johanna, Pollux and Cressida had also fallen asleep and Katniss looked as though she was but I could tell by her breathing she wasn't. As for me, I was tucked up behind a crate, my back pressed up against the harsh wood.

"I can't sleep," Peeta said.

"Yeah I haven't slept in days either," Gale replied.

There was a long and hesitant pause and I questioned whether to come out from behind the crate and start talking but Gale broke the silence with something very unexpected.

"I should've volunteered to take your place in the first games."

"No you couldn't have," Peeta said, "no. She never would've forgiven you. She needed you to be there and take care of her family and you did. She can't lose you. She really loves you."

"The way she kissed you in quarter quell, she never kissed me like that," Gale replied.

"It was an act," he defended.

"No, no," he sighed, "you won her over. You gave up everything for her."

Gale paused again before continuing, "I doubt it'll be a problem for much longer anyway. I don't think all three of us are gonna make it. And if we do then it's her problem who to choose right?"

"Yeah," Peeta murmured.

"I do know that Katniss will pick whoever she can't survive without," Gale said harshly.

"Woah there," I said, standing up, "harsh much, she's been through a lot."

"We all have," Gale argued.

"Not like her," I replied.

"Why do we keep having the same argument?" Hale asked, "why are you so defensive?"

"Because you need to understand people," I replied, "if you in knew her and loved her as you so claim, then be a bit more understanding."

"I do love her," he said, "doesn't mean she doesn't have flaws."

"That's not what I'm saying!" I snapped.

"Shut up," Gale said suddenly.

"Shut up?!" I exclaimed, "don't tell me to shut up."

"No! Enemy shells," he explained as we all fell silent to listen to the bombs, "and it's not ours."

"Peacekeepers must be shelling rebels outside the city," Johanna said, walking over as the remainder of the squad awoke.

"That's not outside the city," Cressida murmured.

Oh shit.

"What are we going to do?" Finnick asked.

"Sun's almost up, I say we go from there," Gale shrugged.

Interrupting them was the Capitol music blasting from the small pop up screen. President Snow's face popped up as he began to talk: "To all Capitol citizens mor than a half miles outside the city circle. I am announcing a mandatory evacuation. Come to the mansion. I am promising you shelter and sanctuary. All refugees come to my home and there you will be provided with food, medicine and safety for your children and you will have my solemn oath to protect you until my dying breath."

"Wish he'd hurry up with that last part," Cressida smirked.

"When will he stop talking bullshit," Johanna groaned.

"Our enemy is not like us, they do not share our values," Snow continued, "they have never known our comfort and our sophistication."

"Sure," Johanna scoffed.

"And they despise is for it. Make no mistake, they are not coming to liberate us, they are coming to destroy our way of life. They are coming to bury us..."

"I want to kill him so bad," Johanna snapped.

"Don't we all," Cressida agreed.

"You okay?" Finnick murmured in my ear.

"Mmm," I hummed in reply, "I will be when you're safe. How's your leg?"

"Fine," he said.

"Finn don't lie to me," I whispered.

"It hurts," he admitted, "but I'll be fine."

"That's what you always say," I grinned, kissing his lips.

"Is he still in the mansion?" Katniss said suddenly.

"Oh shit are we going to kill him?" Johanna asked, her eye lighting up.

"Peeta?" She asked softly.

"Yeah I recognise the room," he replied.

"Where is that?" Katniss asked.

"About five blocks away," Cressida replied, "we're right here, off the avenues. The mansions here."

"What about the pods?" She said.

"They'll probably deactivate the pods around here for the resident's safety," she answered.

"That's could work, I could get close enough," Katniss said.

"Every peacekeeper is gonna be waiting," Gale replied.

"Next to out face on every billboard," Cressida pointed out.

"Who ever got hurt by trying?" Johanna shrugged.

"We will when we get shot," Gale snapped.

"Snows offering shelter to all the refugees," Finnick said.

"Yes we've established," Jo rolled her eyes.

"No, don't you see, we could just sneak in as a refugee," He explained.

"Not all of us can go," Peeta whispered, "too obvious."

"I have to go," Katniss said, "I have to finish this."

"Then I'll go with you," Gale replied.

"No, I'll go alone," she replied.

"You're gonna need back up," he shrugged.

"I'll go then," Johanna piped up.

"I would go but I don't trust myself," Peeta murmured.

"Even if you wanted to, I wouldn't let you," Katniss said, smiling.

"I'll stay, help Rebels and that," Cressida replied.

"I-" Finnick began.

"No way, your leg is buggered," I snapped, slapping his arm.

"Then you can't go either," he said.

"And why's that?" I challenged.

"Well I need someone to look after my leg," he said, pouting.

"Okay that settles it, me, Johanna and Gale will go," Katniss said.

"Stay safe," I murmured, hugging her tightly.

"I'm not making any promises," she smiled, "thank you Flaire."

"No, thank you," I whispered.

I walked slowly over to Jo, "you better not leave me."

"Don't worry no one ever gets rid of me," she laughed.

"I'm hoping not," I laughed, letting my tears pour freely.

"Don't cry," she said, hugging me tightly, "I won't die."

"Can you make that a promise?" I murmured.

"I promise," she smiled.

"Good," I said.

"I'll see you soon," she winked.

"See you sooner," I joked back.

"See you the soonest!" She grinned.

The three of them walked up the stairs to Tigris.

"I'll see them off up there," Peeta said, following them leaving Finnick and I in dingy basement together.

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