Attention What If

Chapter 3

Skylar POV

There is this moment, right after you climax, right after the sex is over. A single moment in which two things happen. One, you appreciate being cared for a looked after, you are happy someone fulfilled your needs. Two, and this part mostly comes to cheaters like myself, you wonder, was it worth it?

As I fell back on the mattress next to Vida I had this moment.

As I struggled to catch my breath, sweat glistening all over my body, I look up at the ceiling and realize that I just threw a relationship over two years in the making down the drain as if it was nothing.

In my weakness I destroyed everything.

Vida and I didn't say anything after. I think she was on the same page as me. The reality settling in fast. Vida is my friend, my current best friend. She knows how I feel about Jade, and even worse, she knows how Jade feels about me. She even likes Jade and is nice to her every time she sees her.

This single moment of weakness in my life ruined all of that.

Regret.

That's what I felt.

Not because I didn't want to do it, not because I didn't like Vida, and not because it was awful. The only regret I felt is that I knew I was going to have to face Jade and tell her what happened.

I'm not sorry it happened.

I am sorry that I let everything go on this long.

That I dragged it all out when I should have ended this show a long time ago.

I regret letting Jade Tate control me for so long.

I regret letting her think this would be forever between us.

I regret the fact that I know in the near future I am going to have to hurt her.

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath, grabbing a pillow and putting it over my face. With any luck, I'd suffocate before having to deal with the fallout of everything.

"We can pretend it never happened if you want," Vida said softly.

I pressed the pillow harder to my face.

My phone started ringing, I knew it was probably Jade wondering where the hell I am.

"I can lie and say you were helping me unpack," Vida supplies.

"Why'd you let me do it?" I move the pillow.

"Do you regret it?"

I turn to look at her and she is looking at me with a soft vulnerable expression I've never seen her make before. It breaks my heart. I grab her hand and interlock our fingers to comfort her.

"No," I say firmly.

"I love you," she confesses.

My brows scrunch together in confusion.

"I always have. I never wanted to push you or hurt you. I saw that you were happy and that was enough for me. So long as I could be around you and you were happy, that could be enough. I'm sorry I let this happen," her voice shakes and her eyes water.

My phone rings again.

"Don't cry, it's okay." I pull her into my arms.

"No, it's not okay. This is going to ruin everything. I don't want to lose you," she cried.

"You won't," I assure her.

"I love you," she whimpered.

I just sigh and hold her closer.