Attention What If

Chapter 37

POV: Skylar

"Okay, you look miserable." Vida points out as we walk to class together.

"I am miserable!" I say dramatically.

"Why?"

"First of all, Darleen left me in that big, empty, scary, house all by myself! She said she is going to be gone a couple of days! Secondly, I have to see Jade off today, so that should be fun. Third, we have classes again!" I gesture to the door to the lecture hall.

She laughs.

"This is literally the worst day ever," I pout.

"Relax drama queen, now that snorleen is gone we can get the edge off without her flipping her shit," Vida says.

I feel my insides knot together. I shouldn't do that again, Darleen is right. It's not good for me. It's not helping me get over my problems. It's just making everything worse. Plus if Darleen wasn't there last time, I'm pretty sure Vida and I would have done some rated R things to each other.

"I'll think about it," I say, not outright declining her offer.

I don't want to seem rude or ungrateful for her company, I just don't want to do that again. I don't want to lose control of myself. Especially since Darleen isn't here.

"Let me know, I have the rest of the day off," Vida says.

I force a smile and the two of us walk into class, quickly taking our seats. All day I continuously look at my phone, expecting something from Darleen. A call, a text, hell I'd even take a funny social media meme. But nothing.

Which makes me feel worse.

Ever since Japan she's been acting weird. I know it's because of the Jade thing. I should have never told her that. I feel like a fool. I mean how else was she going to react? In what world does telling your girlfriend you fantasize about sex with your ex, end well? I'm such a fucking idiot! Ugh.

Someone should really just put me out of my misery already.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go with you?" Vida asks as we walk off campus.

"It's fine, I'll just say bye and leave. No big deal."

She raises an eyebrow, unconvinced.

No big deal.

Jade's just leaving again, back to Canada.

No big deal.

Who knows when I'll see her again...

Probably next Christmas.

Is that what we will be now? Friends who only see each other once a year, if even that. Can you still be friends with someone even if you only talk once a year? What classifies someone as a friend anyway?

"If you need me, just call. I know things with you and Jade are never easy." Vida says.

"Yeah..."

With that, I get in my car and make my way to Jade's house. We promised to meet up one last time before she gets on a plane tonight. I feel sick to my stomach. I hate saying goodbye, especially to Jade Tate.

I wish Darleen were here.

I take a deep breath before getting out of my car and walking up to the door of our house, her house. Then I knock.

"Come in!" I hear her call.

I can do this.

No big deal.