Attention What If

Chapter 11

POV: Skylar

I don't know whether to be freaked out or embarrassed about what happened. I certainly feel a mixture of both. That's never happened to me before. After the fact, I feel like it was definitely blown way out of proportion, but that didn't stop it from happening.

It's not like I'll never see Jade ever again.

I have a feeling she's not going anywhere.

It's not even that I can't feel love anymore.

What scares me the most is that I don't know anything about myself.

Here I am 20 years old and I have no clue who I am.

"Skylar you have to talk to us," Darleen urged.

I sigh and stare at the table.

In a strange turn of events, Darleen, Jade, and I are sitting at Vida's table as she makes breakfast.

"You can tell us anything, I won't get mad I promise." Jade grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers.

"I'm sorry. What happened was stupid and embarrassing and I kind of just want to pretend it didn't happen." I admit.

"Skylar, you scared the hell out of us. You can't just pretend it didn't happen." Darleen pushes.

"I just... I don't know. I had a panic attack or something. It was nothing, I just overreacted." I pick at the table.

"Skylar, you have to talk to us." Jade pushes.

"There's nothing to talk about, I'm fine." I shoot up from the table to get away from them.

"It's okay if you're not," Vida sets plates of food on the table.

"We won't think less of you," Jade adds.

"Look I appreciate you guys looking out for me, but really let's just drop it." I walk to the kitchen to wash my hands, just to give me an excuse to get away from them.

Vida walks up next to me and puts a hand on my shoulder. I don't look at her.

"If you don't want to talk about it then we don't have to," She says softly so only I can hear.

I look at her.

"But if you do ever want to talk about it, I'm here. No judgments, no strings attached. I'm your friend first before I am anything else. You can always come to me for anything. I just want you to know that."

I feel my eyes water and look down again.

"I don't know who I am," I mumble.

"Okay," she says.

I look into her eyes.

"I'm scared to find out." I finish.

"I know who you are. You are the sweetest, kindest, most amazing person I've ever met. Maybe you need to find out your specifics but I know whatever you find you are going to love because it's not what you are into that defines who you are. It's how you act and how you treat people that defines who you are. And I can say without a doubt I've never met another person as great as you."

"Really?" my voice shakes.

She nods and smiles at me.

I tackle her in a hug and she breathes me in, holding on to me tightly.

Vida can be really great sometimes.

She's an amazing friend.

"Come on, let's eat." She pulls me towards the table.