Attention What If

Chapter 23

POV: Skylar

I stare at the ceiling in Vida's room, a big round wet stain there now. Half the stuff in her room had to be replaced. It smells like wet wood in here. A huge fan blows at the ground where the carpet had to be ripped up.

"Skylar," Vida sings my name, trying to draw my attention.

I turn my head to look at her.

"Where are you today?" she asks.

I sigh and turn back to look at the ceiling.

"Come back to planet earth please," she wraps her arms around me and snuggles up close to me.

"What do you get someone who has everything?" I ask out loud.

"Hmm?" Vida doesn't follow.

"What should I get Darleen for Christmas?" I ask.

"What about a bag of coal?"

"I'm being serious." I turn to look at her.

"Me too," she smirks.

"I need to get her something good, after everything she's done for me, I owe her that."

She sighs.

I turn my whole body towards her and snuggle up closer to her too.

"What's up with you lately? You've been all moody these past couple of days. Is it that time of the month?" she frowns.

"No." I brush her blue hair behind her ear.

"Then what?"

"I don't know," I look away from her.

"Is it Darleen?" she challenges.

I stare at the wall now the image of Darleen crying burned into my brain. Did I do that? Was she crying because of me?

"It is, isn't it." Vida pulls back.

"I don't know..." I say softer and turn to look back at the ceiling.

"Skylar."

"I don't have anything to give... what do you get someone who has everything?" I ask again.

"Nothing, you get them nothing." She answers.

But that doesn't sound right.

You let me live in your mansion. Pick me up when I'm down. Help me discover myself, buy me a dog and I give you... nothing? No, that can't be right.

"Skylar, earth to Skylar," she waves her hand in my face.

I turn my head to look at her again. She looks worried, but also annoyed.

"I saw her crying the other day... I think she was crying because of me. I kind of feel bad now." I finally say.

"Because of you?"

"I keep turning her down, pushing her away, hurting her. I just...feel...heavy." I finally say.

"Heavy?"

I nod and rest my head on her chest again.

"What does heavy mean?"

Heavy... I can't explain it, I just feel heavy. Like a huge elephant is sitting on my chest. Like a boulder is stuck in my throat. Like someone has taped my eyelids shut. I feel heavy, burdened, and sick.

"I don't know how to explain it." I finally say.

"It's not your fault she's hurting. She'll have to get over it eventually. You don't like her back; she can't fault you for that." She says.