Attention What If

Chapter 4

Darleen POV

There is always going to be doubt in the back of my head. Is she lying to me? Am I being fooled again? How long before she screws up again? How long before I say enough is enough? If I break her heart will she go down an even darker path?

What if she can't take it?

These are the fears and doubts that come with dating an emotionally unstable person. Not that I blame her, her life has been a real shit show. Her family is much worse than mine. The fact that she's survived this long is a feat in and of itself.

"Everyone ready?" the chaperone asks.

Today I'm going on a school trip to LA to get a sneak peek of some movie sets and behind-the-scenes stuff. It's part of my school's internship program. A bunch of us interested In film and production are here scouting out the job opportunities and what the internship will entail. 

What exactly is the internship?

If I land the internship I'll be working closely with some Hollywood producers to see what it takes to become a well-renowned director and film producer.

"All good here," I say after doing a final head count and making sure we all have our bags and emergency supplies just in case. Part of my responsibilities as appointed student leader on this trip. 

It's just a weekend trip but you never know.

I left Lexi alone at home, which worries me. Sure it's been two weeks since her last use and yes she went through the worst of her withdrawal but I still have that lingering doubt.

What if this was a mistake?

What if leaving her alone was a bad call?

"Alright then, let's get this show on the road." He taps the bus wall and takes his seat.

The bus rumbles to life and we are off.

It was only at the three-hour mark in the drive that I realized, hey I would be close to Skylar and Jade. Maybe I should go visit them. Heck, maybe I'll even catch Jade when she's at work on set. It's been so long since I've seen them or talked to them. I wonder if they still have the same number.

"So, know anyone famous?" One of the guys in the film club, also competing with me to land this internship asks.

"Sure do," I say.

He frowns.

"You?"

"Do you really?" he asks.

"Yep."

"Who?" someone asks from behind me.

"Jade Tate, we grew up together. Went to the same school and were pretty close friends."

"No way, you know Jade Tate, she's like all anyone talks about these days." A girl across the aisle said.

"Yep, that's Jade for you."

"Prove it," the guy says.

"Alright settle down everyone. Come on, back to your seats."

The is a collective groan before everyone moves back to their seats.

I don't really care about seeing Jade, for some reason I just really want to talk to Skylar. To tell her everything. Tell her she was right. I've never been able to open up to anyone the way I opened up to her. She just has a disarming effect on people I guess.

I pull out my phone and scroll to her number.

My finger hovers over the button, eventually, I build up the courage to text her.