Thought it was Khayr✅

Chapter 35: No more tears left to cry

Disclaimer⚠️⚠️⚠️; suicidal content ahead. Do not proceed if sensitive 🙏🏼

Khayr's POV

I could feel the muscles in my hand tightening around the fork i was holding.

Tightening, tightening. I can feel the steel digging into my palm. It's painful, but the fire in my heart was far more scathing.

The air was jolly. Thier bubbly laughs, the pleasant smell of food, the sheer joy of having every single sibling around in this domain.... Should it be weird that I'm numb to all these tonight?

Why is everyone happy even? Cant they see that I'm not? Isn't it written all over my face that I'm unhappy tonight? Do i not seem isolated from all of thier sisterly pep talks?

Why is no one asking me what's wrong?

Also, why is everyone here...by everyone i mean all of our siblings and thier kids...Aunty Amatu and Hanifa too.....why is everyone present. Just not Huda?

Aunty Amatu informed me that Huda had gone to Abuja for a short Ramadan break which they had gotten from school. I still choose to sulk though.

Why is Huda not here? I believe i won't feel this hollow had it been she was here. Her absence made things worse for me.

Various warmers containing yummy and diverse foods were decorating the huge carpet in our sitting room. Baba was in the dining room with the boys; Yaya Abdallah, Abideen, and Hafeez whereas the ladies packed themselves in the wide sitting room.

It's the 25th and everyone aggregated promptly at four for the sauka(Quranic completion). Apparently, it was the rendezvous time for the thing.
60 hizb of the glorious Quran was shared among eleven people, Hafeez included. One fact I'm proud of about Baba is that, he gave Islamic education as much importance as he gave modern education, unlike a lot of parents around us. Infact, it was clear that he valued Islamic education more.

When we were younger, we were all made to go to Islamic school. We went every single day from Saturday to Wednesday. Even on days were attending school, we'd still be made to go. Right after coming from school, we'd be given thirty minutes to freshen up and be sent to the Islamic school. We were taking modern and Islamic education simultaneously. That's why everyone in my family is able to recite the Qur'an with ease and Alhamdulillah, we all have a considerable amount of Islamic knowledge.

Infact, Yaya Abdallah had completed his memorisation before he went abroad to study. Yaya Ramlatu too. She stopped at some point, but she ultimately completed it. This is something I'd beat my chest any day, anywhere for. We have huffaaz in our house. I remember how proud and braggy i was whenever . Even Sabira too. From what I know, before she got married, she was at forty. I have no idea whether she continued or not. But I'm sure she'd complete it. She's so, so passionate about the Quran and the vast knowledge it contains. I'm certain she would. For me, i think the last ten which i have is enough for me.

Bi-idhnillah, we finished the sauka before Iftar. Baba wrapped up the get together by praying for our family's prosperity, right before we started Iftar.

I exhaled out a sigh.

This is pointless, i thought

It's not the food that offended me. Hell, no one in this room offended me. Why am I annoyed at everything here when they're not the perpetrators of my misery?

But again, why does everyone look happy when I'm not?

I sighed again. I'm behaving foolishly. I adviced myself to eat up while i have this chance. Afterall, i haven't eaten anything tangible for two days now, and i know that i won't have an appetite when i go home.