Fury // Harwin Strong

71. Flinch, flicker, fall apart

''And I didn't flinch, and the lights didn't flicker and I fell apart." Davina remarked. "Daemon was my best nights and worst fights but I couldn't care less." She let out a shaky breath as Alicent grabbed her hand. "He was my gold rush to cold touch....  And there was no one else before Harwin." She whispered. "It was always him... left to torment me. He was my no sleep, cried for weeks..." Davina remarked running a hand over her stomach. "I blame pregnancy hormones and Rhaenyra popping by."

"You let her live?" Alicent mused.

"I thought maybe looking in her eyes I could see if there was regret or remorse but I don't even recognize her anymore. I wanted to warn her about him..."

"He did a number on you." Alicent whispered leaning into Davina.

"It was stabs in the back and the nice things he said when he was drunk or lonely. I was looking for something in him that didn't exist." Davina remarked staring into the fire.

+

Hand of the king. It was a good title for Davina. Especially when the king was growing sicker and more tired by the day.

"Aemond... what do you think?" Davina questioned. Alicent knew that Davina was a good leader knew she was molding Aemond well. Knew that Aegon although the firstborn had no want for a crown.  Aegon started seeing Vaera as a young woman and not a child and Vaera took note in playing hard to get. Now it was Aegon chasing after Vaera. Harwin didnt like that. Haezel had been ravening with Jace when he left but Jace found his raves from her were usually in the fires before he got a chance to read it.

Helaena was still very much interested in her creatures more than men so when a raven came from Lena Grady, Helaena started drawing up some hopeful ideas for a new tattoo to do with Davina. Davina got her books on insects brought her to the high maesters so she could learn more about bugs from other realms. Helaena wasnt meant for marriage and motherhood just yet. She had too much to learn about the world around her.

"The enemy was never going to lay down arms and sign a peace treaty the crown would be wise to remain on full alert at all times. Until the enemy is dead and gone." Aemond declared.

"Strong defenses to protect what we love while we wait and reinforce the offense." Davina agreed.  "Any word on Corlys?"

"None yet." Tyland remarked.

"I think we take the dragons out. He was fighting probably got thrown off course. See if we cant get the velaryon fleet in the proper crowns debt." Aemond remarked.

Davina chuckled giving his shoulder a squeeze. He was thinking like Davina. Thinking like a king.

+

Davina had Lena retrace the hearts the kids, all the kids, her own and Alicents and Rhaenyras children. The first letter of their name right underneath. Davina was usually quiet as Lena worked. 

"You going into labor?" Lena questioned. 

"Not yet." Davina agreed. 

"What's wrong?" Lena questioned. 

"Nothing... Everything... Gods I should be at my happiest. I am happy. So fucking happy Lena." Davina remarked. "I shouldnt be thinking about them but she showed up and then... its like I'm that scared little girl, scared of losing him, watching him hurt me again and... I don't want him back. I don't. I love Harwin and he is perfect but its like I'm programmed to break around him." 

"You are stronger than this. You are better than him." Lena assured. 

"Mama Dav, I know what I want." Helaena declared happily. 

"Great, tell Lena. She is a pro." Davina agreed. 

Helaena requested butterfly wings. One wing on her finger, the other on Davina's so when put together they could fly. 

"Stay for a while Lee, don't just come and make me put you to work, I'm sure your brother can handle the island." Davina begged. 

"I think that would be..." Lena's smile faltered as she felt a sprinkle of wetness hitting her feet. "Harwin told me how calm you were the last time you gave birth. I honestly didnt believe him." Lena remarked. 

"What do you mean?"

"Either you peed yourself or your water broke." Lena remarked. 

"Oh... stay and you can help pick the name!" Davina begged. 

+

''You're all I ever wanted." Davina remarked leaning into Harwin. "You love me but no matter what you say there's only one of two ways that this is going to end."

"Davina... I don't like how that sounds." Harwin admitted.

"Someone dies and someone gets hurt." Davina remarked. "But if one of us dies I hope I die first."

"Davina the children would be a mess without you... I would be a mess without you... are you sick?" Harwin questioned.

"No, I'm fine just thinking about life and death." Davina remarked staring down at their baby. Kissing gently as her finger was gripping in their babes hand. Aelyx smiled up at her slapping at his lips. Hand shaking her finger as though it was a rattle.

"Are you sure?" Harwin countered kissing her head.

"I'm fine. I'm really happy actually. But I had a dream the other night, I think this pregnancy really was screwing with my hormones. You died and it was awful." Davina remarked her chest felt tight just thinking about it. "And I don't want to live without you. I don't want to ever learn how to fall asleep without you." Davina declared.

"Oh Dav." Harwin whispered holding her closer.

"Maybe I can break the curse, never have to live in that world without you and I can be in love forever.... If I die first."

"Don't die. We both live forever." Harwin suggested. Davina nodded and he felt a tear run down her cheek and land onto his arm. "It was a realistic dream..." Harwin pondered.

"It was." Davina agreed softly. "I almost lost you once... I don't want to go through that again my heart couldn't handle it." Davina declared. "You're my fire, my safety, my anchor, my true love."