Ladies' Night (Lesbian)

Chapter 33

Buntis!?

No!

This can't be!

Ayaw ko nang bata na ito!

God please forgive me but i don't like this child.

Sobra sobrang pahirap na ang binigay ni Axl sakin.

"Ayaw ko!" Nagsisigawan ako. "Ayaw ko nito!" Pinalo palo ko ang tyan ko. "Alis, alis!"

"Mia!" Napatayo si Mama at pinigilan ang mga kamay ko. "Maghumos dili ka!"

Pero daig ko pa ang nababaliw, or maybe i am. I just can't take this, I don't want this child.

"Ayaw ko na Ma." Pagsusumamo ko habang umiiyak. "Ayaw ko na po."

"Mia?" Boses ni Gabrielle. "What's happening?" Lumapit sya sakin at niyakap ako ng sobranh higpit. "Sshh."

Pero puro hikbi lang ang sagot ko.

Gabrielle held me forever before i clam down, umalis muna si Mama para bigyan kami ng privacy na mag-usap.

Pero matatanggap ba ulit nya ako?

"What's your plan?" Tanong ni Gabrielle sakin. I know what she meant. Pero imbis sumagot ay más niyakap ko nalang si Gabrielle because i don't know what to say. I don't even like this pregnancy. "I mean the baby."

"I, i don't want this baby." My chest feels heavy though.

"The baby has nothing to do with the father's fault." She argued.

"For the second time Gab, he raped me. Iyong kina ivy at Cody ay tinanggap ko dahil wala akong choice. But this time, I have and i don't want to keep this baby."

Hindi nakakibo si Gabrielle.

I understand why though. Because abortion is legal and is against the law of God. It's a blessing they said pero darating ka parin talaga sa punto na maiisip mo na the baby is a mistake and I'll be a constant reminder of the sexual assault of someone you used to love --nor from stranger.

But, i didn't promote abortion either.

It's just that...

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko sa bata na to, yes i have a strong family support pero kailan ko pa sya matatanggap?

"You don't have to think about it right now Mia. We have plenty of time." Sobrang gentle ng salita ni Gab sakin.

Kaya napatingin ako sa maganda nyang mukha. "Kaya mo ba syang tanggapin?"

She slowly looks at me. "I know bad happened Mia but that baby is part of you, your blood and all."

"But I can't."

"Hey."Hinalikan nya ang noo ko. "Let's rest okay? Or do you want to eat something first?"

Umiling ako. "I'm not hungry."

"Alright." At umayos kami ng higa sa hospital bed. "Let's sleep." Niyakap namin ang isa't isa and i feel so secure with Gabrielle. Napakaswerte ko talaga sa kanya, ni hindi nya ako ni judge sa mga nangyari, lagi nila akong inuunawa at sinusuportahan ang mga desisyon ko.

We snuggle with each other and Gabrielle fell asleep pero hindi ako makatulog. Ang dami kong iniisip, ayaw tumigil sa pagtakbo ng utak ko.

What would i di now?

Days, weeks even months have passed pero parang wala parin ako sa sarili. It feels like I'm not the same anymore--i was ruined over and over again.

Though Gabrielle takes care of me very well. She even slowly buys me things for the baby but it didn't help what i feel for this child.