Irresistible [A Zarry Fanfiction].

Chapter Forty Four

“Let’s begin from the very, very start. How about that? And I’m going to tell you everything, Harry. So I need you to be patient with me, because I’ve never done this before, and I am very, very afraid that once I have poured out my story you will push me out of that door, so please, be patient with me.” Zayn spoke up, as if giving himself and Harry the guidelines to what was about to follow. The two boys were tucked up in Harry’s bed. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, it was just them, and that gave Zayn some comfort as he prepared his words. Harry edged his body towards Zayn’s once again, their faces inches away from each other.

“I’d never judge you, Z.” the words rolled from Harry’s lips, and Zayn looked at him gratefully, before he leaned into the older boy and placed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips, before returning his head to where it had been.

“It started when I was young. I was thirteen, and so far my life had been happy, but that was the year my Mum had been working a lot, like she was at the point where she was staying at work all night and day, I’d barely see her and when I did she looked rough. I told her she needed a break, and she agreed…although she left work for a week or two, but never went back. With the lack of work she turned to pills, and that led to her hypochondriac behaviour and her depression. She’d stay in bed all day, and it was scary. She even used to cut herself. When was fifteen, I had to make a game out of collecting the knives from around of the house or any other sharp objects so she wouldn’t cause herself harm. I had to get my younger sisters to collect knives from around the house. It was disgusting.

Because of my Mother’s illness, if that’s what it can even be classed as, my Dad got very stressed. His work was doing the opposite of Mum’s, and he was on the edge of redundancy. The stress of it caused him to drink, something he had never done before, because of his anger problems. And this one night, it was the night that sparked everything else off…he came home and I was in the bathroom and he just barged in, and he stunk of alcohol, he was tall compared to me, I was this scrawny little thirteen year old, there wasn’t even a chance of me being able to fight back, he just yelled a bunch of drunken stuff at me, and he picked me up by the scruff of my neck like some sort of animal and lunged me into the large bathroom mirror. After that he just left. He left my lying on the floor, shattered glass leaving cuts all over my skin, blood coming from cuts that were everywhere. I sat in that bathroom until midnight trying to patch myself up that night. It’s left me with scars that I’m going to carry around with me all my life. But, rather me than my sisters.

That’s the other thing…I’ve been bringing up my two younger sisters. With my Mum in her condition and my Dad like he is, I was the only one who could take care of them. I had to make sure they were washed, fed, clothed, and they got to school safely. That’s why I had so many late marks at school, I had to sneak out of classes to go and pick them up, I even snuck out of an exam to pick them up. I spent my teenage years with people at school thinking I’m some bad ass, who skips school, but really I was bringing up Waliyha and Safaa. I was the only one there for them, they’re too young to understand what happens at home. They couldn’t start to possibly understand the sacrifices that I have made for them. I’ve had to steal money to keep them fed. I can’t get a job, I couldn’t stay out of school, and I cant take them out of school either. I’d rather die then cut off their right to education. I want to see them go to university and live good lives. I’d do anything for them both to end up as teachers or lawyers, something beneficial with their lives. They’re such clever girls, if it wasn’t for them; God knows where I would be now.

So that’s how I grew up, keeping pills out of my mother’s mouth and putting food into my sisters’. Of course I met Niall and Liam at high school. They’re my best friends, and again, without them I don’t know what I would be doing right now. Liam, as crazy as it sounds, is the Dad I’ve always wanted. Liam is always there to make sure I’m okay, to keep me in track, to make sure I do homework, he makes sure I go to lessons, and even though we’ve had a bit of scraps and fall outs, nothing serious. The poor bloke’s had to put up with me as a friend, he’d be better off without me, hell, everyone would be better off without me, but still, he’s there, no matter what, and I love him for that.