When My Life Was Him

Prologue

I was a kid when I first step foot at the backyard of his house.

Bago lang kami noon sa probinsyang magiging tirahan ko mula bata hanggang sa mag-dalaga. Para sa isang batang walang muwang kundi ang maglaro, hindi ko pa alam kung ano ang kapalarang naghihintay sa akin sa lugar na iyon.

More so, sa kapalarang naghihintay sa akin sa pintuan ng kapitbahay, sa may-ari ng bakurang tinatapakan ko.

My family was greeted warmly by an old lady and a boy.

The grandma shook hands with my parents while I blessed on her hand. The boy blessed on my parents’ hands, and he smiled at me after. I smiled back.

That time, I thought I found a new playmate. He seems to be my age.

I’m not wrong.

Brennon Guzman.

Simula nang naging magkapitbahay kaming dalawa ay lagi na kaming magkasama.

We played the same games. We enrolled in the same school. We share the same stories and jam with the same type of music. We watch the same movies and eat the same food. We met the same people and became each other’s best friends.

Naalala ko pa yung unang umaway sa akin sa school. Nilagyan mo ng palaka yung bag niya at pinatawag pa si Lola sa school dahil doon. Sa halip na pagalitan tayo ng Lola, natuwa pa ito dahil nagawa mo akong ipagtanggol.
Dahil masaya ka sa natanggap mong papuri galing kay Lola, nagbitiw ka ng pangako.

“Simula ngayon, protector mo na ako. Walang makakalapit sa’yo kapag nandito ako,” mayabang mo pang sabi habang hinahampas pa ang kamao sa dibdib.

Hindi ko akalaing tutuparin mo iyon hanggang sa maging teenagers tayong dalawa.

Masyado mo akong pinrotektahan, to the point na wala nang ibang nasa tabi ko kung hindi ikaw.

Pero hindi ako nagreklamo. Bakit ako magrereklamo kung ikaw palagi ang kasama ko? Gusto ko rin naman. Hindi naman ako tatanggi.

Pero katulad ng panahon, nagbabago ang tao.

Naging iba ang interes nating dalawa habang tumatanda.

We don’t play games together anymore. You started playing basketball with your new found friends.

We enrolled in the same school, but we had different status. We start attending different activities but still, we remained supportive of each other. That’s a good thing.

We started telling different stories we encounter every day. You start to explore more of being just a school boy. As for me, I remained in the corners of my room as I wait for you to come home every time you go out and left me uninvited.

We stopped jamming because you said music is not fun anymore. You started getting irritated when I sing and dance because you said, I should focus more on my studies than my hobbies. Nakinig ako sa’yo.

We watch the same movies but it happened rarely now.

We eat the same food because you were selfish of me. You hated seeing me with friends who are not you. That’s the reason I lost them. I only have acquaintances, but not friends like you.

There’s just no one else like you.

We are best friends, I know that, but I still fell.

It was just so wrong, kaya hindi ko sinabi. Lihim na lang akong natutuwa kapag napagkakamalan nilang tayong dalawa, lihim nga rin lang akong nasasaktan sa tuwing tinatanggi mo ito.

Until you stopped denying it.

That time, I thought it could be possible. You, me, us.

But when I asked you why you stopped saying we’re not a thing, you said this,

“There’s no point denying. Basta alam nating imposibleng maging tayo, those rumors won’t matter, Iyah. Don’t mind them.”

Okay.

I stopped minding them. I only focused on you and everything you have to say.

I looked at you too much, I forgot to look through myself.

My life started revolving around you.

I chose to be with my best friend than live with my parents, because I was afraid more of leaving you behind than being left behind, alone in our house.

“Ma, ayokong sumama,” I pleaded, crying out of frustration.

“Bakit ba ayaw mong sumama? Kaming dalawa ng Dad mo ang aalis. Aalis tayo!”

“Let me finish my senior high here, Ma! Kaya ko naman ah! Two more years please? I promise I’ll be good!”

You have no idea how much I pleaded just to get left behind and stay with you.

But you left me, too.

I laughed every single time I remember how much I spent my life revolving around you, my best friend, a guy I love.

But I can never deny… those years when my life was you was fun.
I learned a lot.

This is the story of me, Isayah Corazon, when her life, my life, was him, Brennon Guzman.

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