LIES

9.SO BE IT-I

I throw the first thing I get my hands on to the floor,  letting out my frustration, I still am not clear why I am feeling this frustration, with her, or over her worst attitude. Letting myself cool I looked at what I threw, it's a watch, it's her watch, shit it's her watch, now with broken glass. Why has it's always happened to me? I should follow her, I should have followed her and apologized for this watch, it was late at the night, I shouldn't have let her leave alone not because it was her but because I am raised to be a gentleman,  and it should be my duty to make women safe in my vicinity. with this thought I am getting dressed up thinking I could catch her, she wasn't gone far enough, the hospital is far from here, and so is her home.
I left the apartment and walk down towards my bike to follow her, but on the way, I spotted her car, still, there, I went towards her not knowing what I gonna say to her, I was moving towards her but she turned towards me, if I am not mistaken what I saw were tears in her eyes rolling down her cheek, I stopped in my tracks, we are having an intense eye contact before I could do anything she started her engine still not breaking eye contact,  I am now moving towards her, still conforming my doubt about those tears in her eyes but she broke eye contact now working on steering,  I am now almost running towards her car as she sped away from me, she is now gone out of my sight but not out of my mind, following her now doesn't seems like a great idea.
I return to the apartment now, still thinking about those eyes. While taking my phone out of my phone I come across her watch I put it in my pocket to give her back, but couldn't,  I should repair it first otherwise she is gonna snub it for a lifetime,  why I am thinking about life in a contact with her, but as she is important to bhabhi means her forever in bhabhi's life and bhabhi in my life along with my bro, so tolerating her would be for a lifetime,  that's why I thought about lifetime. I will take it to the repair shop before going hospital in the morning,  now moving toward the bed. Still messy from previous activities. I started thinking about those moments,  thinking about how she changed within minutes,  she talks to me normally after sex and throws insults at me other times. Is she afraid that if she talks normally with clothes on people will judge her? I know I am not her favorite person to talk with, I know it's mainly because of me as I can't stop myself from teasing her but at least she can start treating me like a human being, I should stop thinking about her it's not good for my health,  I should be used to by know of this kind of treatment,  even sir treats me the same way since I met him. I hope that changes someday somehow, I don't have any hope with her, and honestly, I think that is good. I don't want any involvement of her in my life although we are involved in something which I don't know what it is, and also the problem of another day but right now I should get some sleep

I woke up with a call, I picked up before looking at who is on the other side, it was my mother asking me to get up, she knew I would be sleeping late as I always do, mother. She asked me to swing by home,  to have breakfast. How far we are yet she doesn't stop worrying about me, mother, I am blessed to have her in my life. I am fully awake now just checking my phone, it's 10 am, wow I am super late, I should leave now, so I can catch up with my mother and be on time for the hospital before sir notices I am late. God save me from his wrath today.  when I am about to shut my phone I saw her text, I opened it instantly as I thought maybe something happened last night when I  let her leave alone, but it was not about that, it was worse than that, she texted me that she forgotten her watch here last night, I should bring it with me, she will take it from me in hospital, now this is scary, I forgot about the watch I have to leave right now,  there is another stop added to my list, the repair shop.
The shopkeeper asked me to put that watch overnight,  as it is a vintage watch and needs extra care so he has to take time on it, how can I go empty-handed now, with this thought I enter my house, and my mother quickly come to rushing towards me, she missed me, I was gone for one day and she missed me, how she is gonna live without me for next 14 days, she told me this house became so empty without me, I know what she meant, she is talking about bhai and bhabhi but she doesn't want me to feel bad so she told me I am the reason house felt empty to her, with her permission I took a quick shower and had my breakfast,  she told me to take some snacks for the apartment since it's a boys condo so there wasn't anything to eat, she knows everything,  mother. I told her I am getting late, I will collect all that in the evening and go to have dinner with her, this statement makes her happy,  she looks so beautiful when she is happy,  I wish I can always make her happy.
When I reached the hospital, I am confused between going to meet her and apologizing about the night or should avoid her till I had her watch repaired, but all of my thoughts been to garbage as I saw her with a patient filling out some details
I turn around and walk away from her, I think she didn't see me. It's lunch timing and I was with sir in his cabin, mother send lunch for all of us, she always does that, and sir being this asshole always criticizes her food, I don't like this, I don't understand how my mother still takes bullshit of him, she shouldn't,  but it's not my choice to make. I wish I could. Sir always ends up insulting me after he does that to my mother, all days my brother would be here to shut him up today he is not, I am leaving his cabin after getting my share of insults from him, he said in the end,  he should never expect anything from me, I can't do a single job right. It bothers me, his words bother me, but at the same time it doesn't bother me, as I turned back I saw her, she was outside my cabin, I saw her eyes, she pitied them for, she must have heard sir, she never pitied me, I hated those eyes at that moment,  I hate when anyone shows pity to me, my mother and brother does that, sometimes my bhabhi shows me pity, I hate those moments but I can't tell them, they all love me. But I can tell her to stop pitying me. I close the distance between us, and I asked her what does she want, another lecture on my smoking habits are going to happen here,  and I said those words in the coldest way I can, I don't like talking this way to anyone. but I did to her to which she didn't reply the way I wanted her to, the way she always does coldly,  she ignored my question and asked me about her watch. This angered me, she is showing me pity, I replied with venom in my voice,  I threw it out on way out last night. Now what I saw is a rare sight but not the first time I saw that expression on her face, it was like she is staring at me with a blank expression and she is zoned out, I asked shaking her what happened now in my normal voice. What she said next is enough to make me understand what I did. She said that was my mother's watch I am wearing it since I  cleared her MBBS entrance exam. She said this with tears in her eyes ready to spill. I wanted to say sorry to her, I wanted  to tell her the watch is still among them, but before he could tell her anything, she ran away from there, she ran away so fast from there maybe she doesn't want me to see those tears spilling from her eyes
I was about to run behind her but sir called me urgently, I had to go to sir, even though I badly wanted to go to her
I saw her in the evening again, she was looking fine, she is talking to a patient and I saw her from distance,  two more patients are waiting for their turn. I saw her talking and writing at the same time.  I wanted to go talk to her, I wanted to say sorry, I wanted to make her smile, yeah I wanted to make her smile after I made her cry that's something I am good at, making others smile, though it's never working on her, today might be a lucky day, with this thought I went to her
I can see she is almost done with the current patient she is talking to, so I spoke hello Dr chipkali I am here with a diagnosis. She replied without actually looking at me. Can you not see I am with a patient right now, aha she is talking to me normally,  I should take advantage of this situation and make her laugh, consider me also as your patient,  she replied again politely then please stand in line. I thought about not pushing my luck but as a man of mission, I still try once again.  Stop acting like a Dr,  we all know you are just an intern filling the position of a senior Dr who is not present here. Now I can see her losing patience
I think you should think before you speak, I am with patients right now and you couldn't speak to me like that in front of them  she said, getting angry  and started to leave there leaving the patient in middle, I feel ok now, getting under her nerve means things are normal, I will talk to her tomorrow with her watch, things are gonna be normal between us with this thought I take a leave from there and went on with my day, without having any idea what I have done
The next morning I went to that repair shop to collect her watch, the watch is now repaired and seems good as new, aha I smiled thinking about her reaction, was she gonna be happy or surprised or angry because I lied to her about this, with this thought I left for the hospital. 
I looked for her in the wards, her cabin which all interns share, no interns were there, so I thought she might be busy. I will give her a watch on her break then.
I went to the staff's Cafe during her break time, but she wasn't there, I spotted other interns, I asked them about her whereabouts casually, and they told me she took a day off from work, that makes sense, that's why I couldn't see her. I thought I will give her the watch tomorrow, and with this thought, I carry on with my day
I missed her at the night, no I didn't miss her presence or anything,  I am missing sex with her, it's been 2 days, not going to lie sex with her is great, even mind-blowing sometimes,  but if she doesn't want to have that anymore so be it in that manner.
The next day I went to the ward where she go for rounds, only finding intern Rohan,  I asked a nurse about her, and the nurse told me she is not there today as well,  I asked did she gave any reason behind this, but the nurse just shrugged and said she wrote something about personal reasons, that's odd because the ward boy replied listening to my conversation with the nurse that she never took a day off since she started her work here, not even when she is not feeling good
I am not feeling good about the whole scenario,  she is not in the hospital for two days now and even took the early day off on that day. I feel this uneasiness in my body, I can't even explain that. I messaged her then, I was hoping to meet you, can you meet me? I wanted to give her a watch, her very watch which she wear every day since she started her journey to become a doctor
It's been hours since I sent her a text, and she doesn't even see my message. The uneasiness grows a little
It's now nighttime, and she hasn't seen it yet, has she not used her phone since, or is she just ignoring my message
I slept with that uneasiness,  sleep is far from my reach, I was tossing and turning the whole night, and had a video call with vansh and bro, it doesn't ease my uneasiness,  maybe meeting mother will help it, I am gonna visit her first thing in the morning.
I visit home, earlier than I planned to, I couldn't sleep the whole night, so I came here  at that time when it feel like I have been sleeping,  I don't want my mother to worry about me since she already had lots of on her plate, I couldn't have breakfast,  as meeting my mother doesn't help the uneasiness that keeps growing in my body
With a heavy and tired body, I reached the hospital. 
The first thing I did after reaching there is looking for her, this time looked in the entry register which shows she is on leave today as well, I asked the receptionist how many days she applied for leave, and she said each night she sent leave applications for past three nights, they have no idea how many more days, he felt that uneasiness grows tenfold now, it's hard for him taking any more breaths or walk normally.  He can't work like this today. He asked sir for leave today and said he is not feeling well. Sir replied with sarcasm when he ever did but tell him to go. I request him not to tell his mother or anyone else I will feel better once I take a rest he just ignored my words like he always does but I don't have the energy left to think about that anymore,  I wanted to leave this hospital as soon as possible
I reached the apartment now, checking if she saw my message,  but still no reply, not even left on seen as she always does to my message,  that uneasiness kept growing with time, I don't what is happening to me, I didn't like this
I was about to take a nap thinking it might help me, just the bell rang I went to the door hoping to see someone else but found a delivery guy delivering a package of vansh's . I called him and collected the package.  I thought about visiting goneka's, I will go there and deliver this package to vansh's house and might well check on what happened to her is she sick or what. What if she is  sick and I catched something from her on that night we spent together
With this thought, I left for Goenka's house
I was greeted by mimi and badi mumma,  I told them I am there to deliver vansh's package. They told me they can put them in his room, I insisted I will put them into his room and had to grab a pen drive from his room, I lied about the pen drive part,  I looked around the house in hope of catching her glimpses, she wasn't there so decided to visit her room while I put vansh's package to his room
I put the package in hurry,  and went towards her room, I thought about going in, but I thought what if she is sleeping there or she wasn't even in there with this I thought I knocked,  but there was silence,  silence which is not making me at ease. I thought about going from there since no response meant she isn't here, but to my surprise, the door opened and she was there looking into my eyes, it seem like we were staring into each other eyes for hours but in reality, it was hardly 15 seconds before she broke that contact and said you with a questioning look,  why I am here. I froze for a second, I don't know how to respond, I didn't even think about what I am gonna say to her when I am gonna saw her there, but now  I had to  think of something quickly
I took out the watch from my pocket and gave it to her, she took it within half a second, she smiled looking at the watch , that smile is so pure and genuine,  that smile just cure my easiness in first glance, I finally took a long breath which I didn't know I was holding

This is the longest chapter I wrote in this book so far
I liked writing it, hope you guys like it too
The next chapter will be from aarohi's pov, just like this was from Neil's pov
Sorry if you found this boring
Ignore my mistakes and thank you for all your support