LIES

34. HEAR ME OUT

AAROHI'S POV:

I spend my whole first day at the hospital in anxiety,  from last night, since Neil left, I have been trying to call him, at first he didn't pick up my phone, it kept ringing, then later calls were rejected,  I thought he was angry on me that's why I asked for vansh's bhaiya phone, he just handed me his phone in the morning,  since he was out for the party, I knew that he was supposed to join him at the villa, but I couldn't ask vansh bhaiya that, for some obvious reasons, so checked his gallery in search of Neil, if he was there, he could be caught in one or two pictures, but nada no success there, I gave bhaiya his phone before he went to sleep, and couldn't sleep till late, just messaging him here and there.

My first day back at the hospital is supposed to be exciting,  but the day went super slowly,  I kept calling and messaging Neil,  throughout the day, since he isn't in his cabin and the hospital today, and after a while his phone goes into switched off mode, first I thought he blocked me or something,  so tried calling him from the hospital,  but the result remains just the same, switched off.

All I wanted to be able to talk to him, I saw his face, when he realized what was I taking,  I need to explain to him that it wasn't about that, it was for a different reason, he looked so upset with me, maybe angry too, and hurt, that was the prominent expression on his face.
I was calling him again for the nth time today, that's when I come across akshu and Abhimanyu,  they both were talking in the corridor, akshu  called me to ask how my day went , I can't tell her the truth , how awful my day went , as I can't think about anything other then Neil's hurted face all day long, and then Abhimanyu asked,  actually told me to take early leave since it's my first day back and could be overwhelming , and he promised my family to take it easy on me for some , normally I would have argue , and tell him not to treat me differently since I am no damsel and distress , but today I kept mum on that , and instead I asked , why Neil hasn't come today , I know a stupid move , but I couldn't stop myself from asking , since they both are closet to Neil, why do you ask for Neil,  is there specific reason asked Abhimanyu, to which I replied after thinking,  that it was nothing , just my day went awfully boring,  so I need to anoye him for my entertainment,  I said jokingly, but expression on abhimanyu's face isn't changed , I can sense he knew I were lying , but akshu comes to rescue without knowing,  you both are same , can't stay without fighting yet can't escape each other , followed with a laugh,  well technically she isn't wrong , we can't escape each other , now Abhimanyu replied that Neil has high fever since last night , he is been resting at home , after that I couldn't say anything,  just nodded and left the hospital,  since my  senior told me take early leave , I am taking up on that offer this time.

I was in the parking lot, when I thought about visiting Neil in Birla's house, was it going to freak him out if went there, not only he was hurt and probably angry, but he has a fever too, so maybe that's the reason he has been avoiding my calls and messages, with that I left for home, thinking about how I must gave his time to get better first,  then explain to him that I wasn't breaking the promise, and honestly it wasn't about explaining to him that I am keeping the promises I made with him, it's about I don't want to hurt him, I wasn't thrilled with my life,  but still am living and working on that promise so he can live, and here I am, hurting him more then before.

As it was the end of September,  means weather got a little chilly at night time, and in the early morning, I was sitting on my balcony, thinking about how my whole day went, I couldn't think about anything, other than how I messed it up again, whatever I do, even if I did something thinking about others at the end the other end up with more pain and suffering, I was sitting in dining table, with a single thought that I will I make it up to Neil, where should I start, well badi mumma answer me indirectly,  telling me to eat, which I did, I had dinner today, even more than that, I kept eating until whatever I ate come to my throat, all lead to me throwing up, I ran from dining table to nearest bathroom,  but couldn't make it till there, I threw up all over the couch, and myself. Now all I have left with me embarrassment in front of everyone there, no one said anything to me,  they just pitied me, I hated that, all of it, badi mumma come to me tell me to join her, she draw me a bath and tell me, don't worry about anything,  no one is mad at me, we all know it's a big day for you, take bath and rest, I will send something for you to eat if you feel like eating have that, aaru we all love you, with that, she left me to get clean up.
That all lead to me out here, on the balcony,  cold air keep hitting my face, and my hairs are still wet, I didn't use drier on them,  because I didn't feel like putting any effort into my appearance,  wearing my comfiest pajama set, I was holding juice that badi mumma sent to my room, making no effort on drinking that.