LIES

10. SO BE IT-II

I left, I left the apartment as soon as I can, I can't stand him anymore.  I hate the way he looks into my eyes, it was like he can see right through me with those eyes only. I feel this compulsion when he looks into my eyes and asks questions, a compulsion to answer him honestly,  which I guess might be difficult for him to understand
I am now in my car, still thinking about where to go, home or the hospital.
He asked me again today, why don't I eat, I try to ignore that question, I didn't even try to hide it, but no one noticed this, or if someone notice no one asked me about that, I think kairav bhaiya noticed when I eat with him, but he never commented on that, might understand I don't want him to ask, so why doesn't this chamgadar takes the hint
He has this brilliant talent of getting on my nerve every Damm time, why  his comments bother me, I don't have the answer to this question
I don't want him to ask me about anything,  I can tolerate his annoying part but not the part which shows concern and pity to me.
I can't give him that power over me, if he knows about things I hide from myself, the secrets I hold then he will never let that go. I can't give him that power, power to have a hold on me. The last time I  gave abhimanyu this power, unintentionally  I gave him this power which affected my several decisions.  In the end, I end up with nothing,  nothing but guilt and being a villain to various people
I can't give him hold over me, I didn't notice how tears made their way, and I didn't even notice how much time has passed since I came inside the car, as I was about to start the car toward home,  I saw his eyes, again with million questions in them, I have to leave from here before my eyes answer his questions, I did leave, leaving him there with his questions
I am home now, the whole ride I thought about what should I do next, should I ignore him the next day, or were we gonna act like nothing happened,  just like we always do, and fall back into our old pattern?  That would be an appropriate response to this situation.  I am gonna message him during my break or after it, if he came, we are having sex, and will ignore what happened at the end of today
With this thought, I left for bed and was done for the day

With the sound of an alarm, I get up. Followed My morning routine, I dedicate fix time in the morning for studying, which I follow for most of the days.
After some time I decided to get ready for the hospital,  as it's time now, 9 am to 6 pm is my hospital shift today, as I was putting stuff in my bag I remembered I didn't have my watch on
I looked it everywhere only to have this realization that I left it at the studio apartment,  shit now I have to ask him to bring it back, another unavoidable interaction with him, this is something I dreaded. I messaged him to bring my watch, I can collect it from him in the hospital
I am now at the dining table, thinking about having breakfast and my coffee before I leave for the hospital,  everyone is at the table, another thing I dreaded. I am gonna grab my coffee to go then, best way to avoid morning conversations
With this thought, I put my coffee in my go cup and was about to leave
Papa baba stopped me and Said I should have my breakfast,  badi mumma put a lot of effort into my breakfast,  I declined respectfully,  fully acknowledging her effort but I can't have breakfast with everyone present there, then again another thing I dreaded happened,  he just compared me with my perfect sister, she would never leave home without appreciating her badi mumma's effort. I have to leave now before I say anything which I am gonna regret later. So I  left my coffee there and leave the house as soon as I can. I hear commotion from behind,  but I had to leave early as possible

It's 10:30 am and he still didn't saw my message,  or maybe he is avoiding me. Should I call him, my thoughts have been broken by a nurse who is submitting me some early morning vitals

I was busy with my work, but still had time to check that message which was  on seen now, is he gonna bring my watch today, I need it now, I feel  a little empty without it, only I know the true value of that watch
I was done with my round going to assist a surgery as an intern. A tough job as I had to do nothing but hold the tray throughout the surgery I was informing the attendees of the patient about the procedure and when I saw him, going in the other direction, I thought how lucky he is being the son of the hospital MD  he can come anytime he wants. I will talk to him after lunch
After I am done with surgery which by God's grace finished earlier than expected I move towards his cabin, again thinking how lucky he is getting cabin of himself, with a post nothing as the only assistant of MD, at a very young age, and here we are, have to share with four others, no sense of privacy and no quiet place to study in peace
I was about to knock on his door when I hear Harshvardhan sir's voice, very loud and clear, he was saying some harsh and rude things to the person, I hide behind the wall, I don't want to come across him, in his anger State. He is gone now, and  I can see who was saying those things too. I always knew that both brothers has strained relationships with their father, which I understand to this extent.  He saw me, he is looking at me with anger in his eyes this time, I was feeling bad for him and trying to put myself in his shoes. But why is he looking towards me like that?
I covered the distance between us, only to hear his venom-spitting words, I didn't like the way he is talking to me, but I get it why he is doing that, if I were him I would have done the same
I need to change the topic, I couldn't show him pity this was my mistake.  I asked him about my watch, to which he replied he threw it. He threw my watch, my mother's watch, I never wanted to tell him about that watch but I did just now, this day is getting worse and worse, I have to leave before he  can see my tears
With this thought, I ran from there
I ran towards Abhimanyu's room, it was the only place I can get privacy right now. I was now inside Abhimanyu's room. I didn't notice I was crying down here. I panicked,  how many has saw me crying,  but I don't care right now, I lost my mother's watch.  The watch is very important to me, I always take care of  I put it off whenever I feel it could get damaged.  Yesterday I put it off because of fear of it getting damaged and he just threw it. Now I was crying full-blown tears