MEMORIES (billy/eddie)

Crush

his sentence couldn't stop playing in your head. Eddie really cared about you, and it made your heart melt. still your head on his shoulder, you closed your eyes. he was the sweetest guy you've ever met.

"- i care about you too Eddie, I really do."
"- listen y/n, there are some things I've been wanting to tell you since a while and uh ... I think it is time."

you raised your head to look at him, and you heart stopped beating for a sec. he looked anxious, playing with his rings. he looked ... insecure ? you've never seen him that way.

"- you know ... when we were kids, I ... shit, that's so embarrassing." he stuttered
"- no, it's not. tell me."
"- i had like ... this massive crush on you, and I didn't know how to express it cause you are like the hottest and nicest girl in Hawkins, like you're so funny and charming ... you're talented ... a freak like me could never have the audacity to try anything. I was lucky you were my friend, and I was really scared you wouldn't talk to me anymore if I told you."

you smiled softly watching his cheeks turn red, and you grabbed his hand, holding it tightly. he looked at you and smiled too. the tension between you two could be cut with scissors.

"- Eddie, I did have a crush on you too. and I don't want you to say things like that, you're no freak to me. you're an amazing person, and you have always been here for me when I needed it. I am the one who's lucky to have you." you said making him laugh slightly.

he started rubbing your hand softly and you felt shivers run all over your back. but then you remembered billy, your boyfriend, was sleeping inside. what if he woke up ? you removed your hand from his grip and sighted.

"- Eddie I really need to sleep, and if billy wakes up alone he will wonder where I am." you said
"- of course, I understand. it's okay." he replied standing up.

he walked a little bit forward, hands in his pockets and turned around to look at you.

"- goodnight y/n."
"- goodnight Eddie."

he left, and you entered the house discreetly to go back to bed. billy didn't move, you smiled looking at his baby face covered in scars. even like this, he was handsome. you turned your back to him and you felt a strong arm around your waist before falling asleep.

you opened your eyes a couple hours after, you were alone in the bed. you got up and went to the kitchen were billy was making coffee, bare chest and cigarette hanging between his lips. you smiled and kissed his cheek.

"- good morning babe. coffee ?" he asked and you nodded in response.

it wasn't usual for him to wake up before you and make coffee, but you liked the attention. billy would do small things like that after a fight, it was his way to apologize without having to say it. but you knew it wouldn't last.

"- what time is it ? " you asked with a sleepy voice, sipping on your coffee.
"- it's 9, im heading to work in half an hour." he said while sitting next to you.

he was looking at you hungrily. you giggled and tapped his arm.

"- stop looking at me like I was fucking Phoebe Kates or something. I must look terrible." you said
"- shut the fuck up y/n, I look at you the way I want to. you're smoking hot." he replied

you laughed and he gave you a peck on the lips before standing up. you took a look to his strong back facing you while he threw his cigarette in the ashtray and you thought about how handsome he was. why are you thinking about Eddie then ? you chased his face from your mind and stood up to lock your arms around your boyfriend's torso.

"- miss y/n tryna stop me from heading to work, isn't she ?" he said in a playful tone.
"- can't you stay here for today ? we could cuddle and ... make love all day ?" you tried.

he laughed and turned around to rest his arms on the counter behind him. you pouted and looked at him in the eyes. he smiled and grabbed your waist.

"- would love to, but someone's gotta pay the bills. while the house is yours, I'm paying the rest babe."
"- I could take a job so you wouldn't have to work this much."
"- we already had this conversation y/n, you go to school and I take care of the rest." he said before kissing the tip of your nose and leaving to the bathroom.

you sighted and started to tidy up the kitchen a little bit, throwing away all of the empty beer cans, emptying the ashtrays and start washing the dishes.

billy came back to the room and kissed you goodbye, wearing your favorite button up on him, the bloody red one. he threw on his jacket and left. whenever he left the house, everything seemed quiet as hell. you felt alone.

you heard his car, music blasting, leaving the parking lot. you went to take a shower and dressed up. week-ends were sometimes boring when you didn't have much to do. Robin haven't called yet, and you didn't want to call Eddie. you wanted to, but you couldn't. you remembered about the mixtape and went to pick it up, hidden in your closet.

you took your walkman, and turned the tape. another song, still Eddie's young voice. he sounded hurt while singing.

" - I've been burned up by the fire
It makes me wait for you
Been sleeping on my side
The way you used to do
And I know just where you are
You're not so far away
But I can't come to you like this
So I guess I'll stay away

There's things men learn from livin'
Things they learn in hell
Things I learned because my father left
It's probably just as well
Now I've been standing here all by myself
In the pouring rain
I think there's someone I should call right now
But I can't call her name

A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven

I don't wanna waste the weekend
If you don't love me, pretend
A few more hours, then it's time to go
As my van rolls down the East coast
I wonder how you keep warm
It's too late to cry, too broken to move on

Still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need, from me

It's just a drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven

Misplaced trust and old friends
Never counting regrets
By the grace of God, I do not rest at all
And New England as the leaves change
The last excuse that I'll claim
I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl

And still I can't let you be
Most nights I hardly sleep
Don't take what you don't need, from me

It's just a drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most
'Cause you are my heaven
Oh you are my heaven."