MEMORIES (billy/eddie)

Scared

you looked back at eddie and he closed the door before heading towards you.

« - i'm not leaving you. » he simply said.
« - eddie ... » you whispered.

you weren't drunk anymore, thanks to your little nap. you didn't really remember about anything about the party, you just remembered eddie carried you out.

« - it's okay. give me your clothes, i'll wash them.» he said gently.

you were about to protest, to tell him he didn't have to but he put in finger on your lips.
you went to the bathroom to strip, wrapped a towel around your body and gave him the clothes you had on. he smiled and walked towards the kitchen.

you turned on the shower, waiting for it to heat up. you thought about billy, knowing why he left. the only thing you remembered. you looked at your wrist to see a purple mark on it.
you sighed and got in the shower. everything started to mix up in your head, and you sat in the shower, to cry without eddie hearing you.

but what you didn't know is that he sticked his ear next to the door, and heard your sobs. his heart stung and he really wanted to get in to comfort you, but he knew you wouldn't want that. you needed to be alone.

you finished to shower and exited the bathroom. he was sitting in your room, playing with your guitar. it wasn't electric but you knew he liked to play both.
you grabbed some sweater and some shorts that you threw on in the bathroom before coming back.

you sat next to him on the bed and he looked at you. you were convinced you looked like shit, but eddie replaced some of your hair behind your ear.

« - you look pretty. »
« - it's not funny. » you replied before lying down, your heard on his knee and closing your eyes.

eddie continued playing, and started singing for you.

« - The evil it spread like a fever ahead
It was night when you arrived, my firefly
What could I have said to raise you from the dead?
Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head
Was it all a disguise, like Junior High
Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction
Now, where am I?
My fading supply

Did you get enough love, my little dove
Why do you cry?
And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best
Though it never felt right
My little Versailles. »

you sighted when he ended the song. it was beautiful. it raise you the goosebumps.

« - it's ... incredible, eddie. but it's so sad. »
« - i wrote it a very long time ago. »

you straightened up, and smiled weakly at him. he was hurt, just like you were. you knew you both had so much in common.

« - we should get out. » you simply said.
« - and where to ? you're hangover, you're staying home. » eddie commanded.
« - i mean, we're young. we should go out and i don't know drive to nowhere ! get lost somewhere ! »
« - i think you're still a little bit drunk, doll. let me just make you some coffee. »

you growled and burried your head under your pillow while he laughed and went to the kitchen. you heard him doing some coffee, and took your guitar. you thought about billy. the freaking crash. what if something happens tonight, you thought.

eddie came back to your room with two cups and you thanked him. he looked at you, and understood something was off.

« - y/n, we never really talked about how you felt about the crash ? » he asked softly.
« - i ... don't know what to say. » you replied in a breath.
« - then maybe you could sing. just like i did. » he said shrugging his shoulders.

you looked at the instrument between your hands. yeah, not a bad idea actually.
you started playing notes that felt like what you wanted to express, and then let some lyrics come to your head.

« - Sometimes, he looks the same
Just like he did before the accident
When he's staring into space
It's hard to believe he doesn't remember it
Woke up in the ambulance
He pieced it all together on the drive

I know he don't remember calling me
But I told him, even then he looked so pretty
In a hospital bed
I remember he said he was scared
And so was I

I pieced it all together late that night
And I know he don't remember calling me
But I told him, even then he looked so pretty
In a hospital bed
I remember he said he was scared
And so was i. »

you started playing very much harder and singing louder. emotions running through you.

« - What if it happened to him on a different day?
On a bridge, where there wasn't a rail in the way?
Or a neighborhood street where the little kids play?
Or the Angeles Crest in the snow or the rain?
What if he wasn't alone? There were kids in the car
What if he was remote? No one knows where he's at.
If he changed anything, would he not have survived?
he's alive, he's alive, he's alive.
And I know he don't remember calling me
But I told him, even then he looked so pretty
In his hospital bed
I remember he said he was scared.»

eddie stared at you as you pushed the guitar aside. he put his hand on yours and squeezed it, to show some support. you looked at him and exhaled while removing your hand. you were embarrassed, you didn't want to think about it again. you looked like a weak little girl. like you used to be.

« - y/n it's okay to be emotional. » he said.
« - i know, i just... i hate it. »

you looked at the time. it was late. you looked at eddie and knew he couldn't stay over. billy would kill him. and kill you.
he grabbed his stuff and kissed your forehead before heading towards the door and closing it behind him.

where was billy ? you were genuinely scared now.