Emotions

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"I'm trying ,I am

But I'll admit , it's getting harder to live with so much heartbreak , so much pain , so much ache

And there are days that

I just don't believe in love

I tell myself to keep my heart open
That in the end I was wrong about you

But one wrong is a mistake , but when it happens more times than you can count

Now it's not a matter of "I was wrong"

You start to question everything

I will not deny the fact you broke my heart neither will I lie and say that I've gotten better or in someway say I can move on

I still feel pain , so much so that I find it hard to breathe ,

I wake up everyday and feel disappointed
Why you ask?

Well I woke up.

I......woke up
Why do I have to wake up
Why is it that I exist
Why is it that I suffer so much pain every time I'm in love

Is love pain? If so why do I fall for it every time
I'm supposed to learn from pain especially

Just like how we know fire is pain
Why can't I learn that love only causes pain

I'm walking a dangerous path now
I know it's wrong to think like this

But

I'm tired
I'm exhausted

I feel no motivation whatsoever to even plan anything

I can only write my thoughts in some form of story , in some form of poem

But even then

Too tired to make this a story

Every thought is written as is made

Written without an editor
Written without care
Written with so much tears
Written with so much pain
Written with so much hate

Written with fear

I'm so scared
       So sacred of love

I scared of how I feel , of how I think lately

I just want to be loved back

Please

Just please

I guess that's the basic

Fear

So underneath all that is just fear?

Will I ever get over this

I'm going to sleep

Will write later.