29- mom

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Facing the fact that her dad had truly made the choice to abandon her was too much for her consciousness to contend with so her dreams were suddenly plagued with the realization of reality and they forced her to deal with some tough thoughts.

She pushed past the harsh cold foyer and forced her heavy cold feet to move. She could hear the happy warm sounds of home of family. As soon as she could get to them she would be warm, whole and finally free. The air felt like ice radiated into her veins from the cold. Each step took her deeper into the cold but she knew her saviour was so very close.

She pushed on looking for the sense of warmth that would release her from the grips of stone. Her steps were getting harder and smaller and slower as she forced herself to continue forward.

Finally she found herself in front of a division. On the other side of the threshold was a cozy livingroom with a couch hosting a small family and two dogs. The fireplace hearth glowed with a welcoming warmth. The family of five snuggled under a large fuzzy blanket looking at a photo album.

At first Kim only recognized her father with a boy settled under his arm. A girl excitedly pointed at the album while a baby snuggled in the arms of her...

Kim's heart felt the slow painful incertion of a marble icicle. The woman holding the baby was most definitely NOT her mother. The boy wasn't Grey and the girl wasn't her. The baby girl held in the woman's arms held a rose and Kim knew it was her father's new family.

She couldn't make out the faces of the children, but her own father's image was as sharp as the pain in her chest. The woman was made up of blonde curls and feelings of venom.

The cozy scene suddenly morphed into a birthday party. The little girl, now dressed in a pink dress with embroidery across the chest and puffy sleeves, sleeves Kim would have wanted when she was little.

The girl sat at the table innocently kicking her feet waiting for something. Kim noticed the birthday crown atop her  head. Decorations adorned the walls.

The birthday girl lit up at the sight of the three tiered cake with decadent white frosting and rainbow flowers cascading down the side.

Kim tried to get to the party but she hit a barrier at the threshold. She raised her hands with all her effort she knocked on the glass wall. Her father looked over and saw her poised to knock again and recognition crossed his face before surprise and then he just looked disgusted.

He turned away and went back to the party, hugging and smiling at his new little girl.

"Who is Daddie's biggest girl? Who is Daddie's precious KayKay?" He asked the strange little girl. His KayKay, NOT Kiki.

Kim could picture herself there, in that room, her father hugging her. But instead she was watching how easily her father had replaced them, had replaced her.

In that moment her last bit of humanity escaped and she joined her family as decorative cast offs in the foyer of her father's new life. She had to face that. He wanted them firmly frozen in his past and were not welcome in his present.

Kim woke up feeling ice cold.

***

The next week Kim avoided all people. She entered and exited the house through the basement door. Her mom left her food, which she would sneak it from the kitchen or feast on the snacks she purchased on her way home from her exams.

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