Black Sheep - Rick Grimes x Male

Sorrow

Tw: Hard to read. Talk of S/a

Moon's eyes were trained on the calendar hanging in front of him. It was a colorful calendar, light pink and bright yellow. They were the types of colors that hurt if you stared too long. Moon felt a dull ache behind his eyes, though the hurt was easy to ignore as he could feel his heart race in his chest.

All of his attention was focused on the date, July fourth. His finger tapped over the blank square, just lightly, just to remind himself that it was just a date. It's been sixteen years, a date shouldn't hurt anymore. What happened shouldn't still be so haunting.

Yet, he found himself unable to look away. Unable to break away from the memories filling his mind. Moon stood there, remembering the past like it was his punishment. Rick stood across the room feeding Judith, his gaze drifting between the two.

Neither got much sleep last night, Moon's nightmares kept them both up. It was the worst Rick's ever seen. The older man has never heard Moon sound so scared. Waking up to his boyfriend's whimpers or muffled sobs had been an occurrence Rick's learned to expect every so often.

But last night wasn't like that, Moon's mood had changed as soon as they got into bed. The usually clingy man didn't want to cuddle, Rick was confused, even a little hurt but everyone deserved space. So Rick gave it to him, he kept to his side of the bed.

Rick wanted to talk about it, he wanted to know if he had done something or if it was just as simple as his boyfriend not being in the mood. But when he spoke, Moon only turned his back to him. Of course, Rick didn't take too kindly to being ignored.

But his anger only lasted a few seconds before he realized how uncomfortable his boyfriend was. Moon was itching himself, his legs were moving under the blanket and his hands were scratching at his arms. Rick wasn't sure what that was, he was used to the humming and the hair pulling, that has become normal to him.

But this made him check under the blanket like there would be a reason Moon was so uneasy in their bed. The place his partner should have found the most comfort in. It didn't take him long to realize it wasn't the bed, it wasn't the blanket, it was him.

Moon was uncomfortable with him just being so close. It hurt. It made Rick feel like he had done something bad when he was sure they were fine the whole day leading up to last night. He couldn't understand why Moon didn't want him around.

But that wasn't entirely true, Moon found comfort in his boyfriend. He felt better knowing Rick was there. It was just the simple fact he was vulnerable, sharing a bed with someone took more vulnerability than Moon felt he could give in that moment.

It was a hard night for the both of them, Moon didn't want Rick to leave but found it difficult to say as much. When the older man decided it was best if he took the couch, Moon ended up panicking even further which forced Rick back into bed.

The next morning when it seemed like Moon had calmed down, Rick tried asking about it. He tried talking it through to understand what happened. But Moon couldn't even look at him. He couldn't look at his love without feeling ashamed.

Rick watched him, his worry only growing when Moon didn't move, even after he called out to him. His finger still mindlessly tapping the calendar. "Moon." Carl came down the stairs calling for him but Moon didn't seem to hear him either. "Moon." He repeated louder, tapping the dazed man's shoulder lightly.

"Huh?" Moon turned away from the taunting paper, the faraway look in his eyes remained even as he glanced down at his stepson. "Will you come with me to get new shoes? Mine are getting too small." Carl looked down at his shoes, feeling the pressure on the tips of his toes.