𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐢𝐧 || 𝐉𝐇𝐒

08 - La Douleur Exquise

Hoseok pov

My room was cleaned spotless, the living room? cleaned and so was the kitchen. I lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling thinking what to do. It was a day off and I didn't have any idea on how to spend my time.

"Hoba," Yoongi hyung called, looking at him, I notice he was dressed up. "Going out?" I asked him. "Yeah, Nabi asked if I was free to hang out," he said. I wiggled my eyebrows, "a date?"
"I am just her friend nothing more, nothing less," he flicked my forehead but I was still grinning at him.

"It's your favorite cafe, want to join?" he asked, "if you don't mind," I shrugged. "We'll stop by Seojin's to get a little work done before going to meet Nabi," he informed. I nodded and walked out after closing the door behind us.

When we were halfway to Seojin's place, we had a call from him telling us that he had an emergency and couldn't meet us. So we went straight to the cafe where we were supposed to meet Nabi noona. Making sure that we covered our faces properly, we entered the café. Nabi was already there, sitting in a corner. As soon as she saw Hyung her lips split into a grin, but her lips fell flat when her eyes landed on me.

That's unusual.

"Hobi... You both are early," she let out a nervous chuckle, looking behind us. When I looked back no one was there. "We were supposed to meet someone but the plan got canceled, what's wrong?" Hyung asked, catching on her awkward behavior too.

"N-nothing," she tensed.

I noticed two handbags on the table, one was noona's and the other looked oddly familiar, so she had company? That's when I remembered that I saw Soomin with the same bag in an article about her, this bag was a limited edition with only 2 pieces available in Korea.

Is she here..? That explains why she is acting this way...

"S-she is here?" I looked at noona, she silently nodded, looking guilty, "I will leave." I stood up, hyung calls out to me, but I ignore him and ran out.

Just knowing that she was close to me did things to my heart, it's been years since I saw her in person and a part of me yearned for the sight of her, wanting to sneak a single glance of her from at least far and leaving. I know doing that will hurt me, but I did exactly that, I hid by a wall which gave me a perfect view of their table. I could see hyung and noona talking with a serious look on their faces and a few seconds later, Soomin was next to them.

She looked as beautiful as I remember, her eyes widened seeing Yoongi hyung there, and he looked shocked too. They started talking and when Yoongi hyung got up, I immediately turned and walked away. I still felt those butterflies when I saw her, but that was accompanied by the feeling of something heavy weighing down on my heart.

I wish we were still together Soomin, I wish I didn't have to do what I did....

Author pov

"Who is here? What's wrong? Why is he leaving?" Yoongi asked, looking at Hoseok's retreating figure.

"Soomin is here," she let out a defeated sigh, "what-? why did you call me then?" Yoongi asked, "You are always late, so I thought she would leave before you reached here, but you came early and on top of that, you brought Hobi with you" she rumbled.

"Shit- Should I check on-" the idol cut himself off when he felt a presence beside him, turning to his side , he found Soomin looking at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. His expression mimics hers for a moment before he raised his arm awkwardly and waved at her, "ah..hi...?"
Soomin was pulled out of her trance, "H-hi..." She answered back. "How are you?" Yoongi asked, "good," she nodded her head, answering him.

It was so awkward.

"You?" Soomin questions back, "I am good," he running his tongue over his lips. Nabi was looking at both of them back and forth, also feeling awkward for witnessing this very awkward conversation. "I will leave now," Yoongi got up looking at Nabi, ready to leave but was stopped by Soomin who mumbled an almost inaudible apology.

"No, no, you don't have to apologize, I came early to meet Nabi," Yoongi clarified. Soomin shook her head. "I ignored all of you when you tried to contact me after the...break up," she muttered, "it's okay...you needed time. But it would have been nice if you at least contacted us once you were better"

"I felt so guilty for ignoring all of your efforts to get in touch with me and I didn't know how to face or talk to all of you. I feared if I was even anymore part of the group or if you all wanted to be friends with me after we broke up. I thought you all would detest me for avoiding you.."
Yoongi sighed and placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze, warming her heart. He used to do that to her before when he wanted to give her comfort. This was his equivalent of a hug.

"Even though we got to know you as Hobi's girlfriend, you became a friend to all of us, and we wouldn't have called to ask how you were doing after the break-up if we consider Hobi as the only the link between us. Wee understood you needed time, we didn't hate you then, not now" He gave her a small smile.

"I missed you oppa," she threw her arms around him, giving him a hug, with her eyes glossy. He gave her a pat on her back.

Evening

"Hoba?" Yoongi called out, entering Hoseok's dark room. He doesn't usually ever switch all the lights off, he always left form of light on.
Yoongi was met with silence, he traced the wall and found the light switch, turning it on. As the light fills the room he finds his friend laying flat on the bed staring at the ceiling. Hoseok flinches at the sudden brightness and blinked a few times before turning to the door, where Yoongi stood.

"Hyung..." he mumbled before sitting up slowly.

"I am sorry, I wasn't aware Nabi would be there with Soomin," Yoongi apologized, his voice low with guilt seeing Hoseok this down. "Hyung, no, it's ok, it's not your fault, and I don't mind, I am o-over her now," he immediately said, his voice feeble at the end.

"The tattoo on your hands says otherwise, Hoseok-ah," Yoongi narrowed his eyes on the younger one, taking a seat on the bed. Hoseok looked down for a moment before he looked up with his eyes glossy, his lips wobbling as he said, "I thought if I keep telling that lie to myself, it would become true, but it's been almost 10 years hyung, 10 years!" he exclaimed as a sob ripped through him, his tears finally running free.

"But it seems impossible to move on, fuck I can't even seem to get this hurt and guilt out of me, she is still the first thought when I wake up, the last thought when I go to bed and all the thoughts in between. I thought I would be able to live on without her when I broke up with her, but even after all these years it's difficult, each passing day is like hell. See I even went as far as getting a tattoo that reminds me of us, you think I would ever move on from her? I am not living my life hyung, I am just surviving." he let out as sobs wrecked his body.

It broke the Yoongi's heart seeing the brightest person in their group hurting like this. Reaching Hoseok he puts his hands around the crying man, putting his head on his shoulder and letting him cry there "seeing her after all these years, I still feel the same euphoria, but with that comes the heart wrenching pain of not being able to hold her."

"Why are you hurting yourself like this Hoba? Why not give in and get back with her? You clearly love her," Yoongi whispered.

"Love isn't enough to be together hyung, we just aren't meant to be," the younger cried.
Yoongi felt helpless seeing him cry and not being able to do anything for him, to make things better.

I am sorry!! I was supposed to post yesterday but things came up and I had to do them🥲 Hobi is going to military soon🥺

Happy reading💜

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