𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐢𝐧 || 𝐉𝐇𝐒

10 - Memories

Soomin pov

A weekend after a hectic week at work felt like heaven. I woke up late, fully relaxed and went to have a hot cup of coffee after freshening up.

"Here is the hot cup of coffee, you asked for ma'am," My father placed the cup of coffee on the dining table and bowed dramatically. "Thank you appa," I chuckled as he sat down next to me. "Is work getting too hectic?" he asked, noticing how I had been coming home late last week, "yeah appa, a big project's deadline is approaching, after I'm done with that I will be a little more free," I answered, eager to get done with this project.

"I haven't been able to talk to Minseo properly these days, how is she? How is her school going? I feel bad for not being able to spend time with her," I sighed out, leading a big company that maintained it's reputation and position for more than a century is difficult, there are a lot of expectations to live up to. Despite that I always somehow manage to have time for my daughter but sometimes, like this past week, the workload is so much I am not able to give her any time which I really hate.

"Don't worry, Soomin-ah, you know how she is, she understands your situation. And her school has been going good it seems, she told me she is staying home today," he gave me an assuring pat on my shoulder. "Of course she understands, I don't know what I did to be blessed with her," I chuckled.

"You are pretty lucky. Compared to how you were, she is a very good daughter," my father jokes.

"I know how difficult it is to be a parent, Soomin-ah, a single parent at that, you have two places to fill in and it's not easy," he said, getting serious, "when are you planning on getting married? She needs a father figure in her life and not just her, you need a companion who will be with you no matter what. I don't know how long I am going to be around and I want to be assured that someone is there for you even when I'm not around," he repeats the same thing I've heard at least once a month.

"I know appa but so far there is no one I've taken a liking to, if I do find then of course I would settle down with him.  And it's not just me now, the man and Minseo should accept each other too," I said.

"You will only meet people when you go out and you don't go out for anything other than work," he deadpanned.

My father hesitates for a second "Also...when are you planning to talk to Hoseok? You know you have to tell him about Minseo at some point, right? Maybe you both could try again. You told me that he said if in future if you got another chance, you both could try starting over again. Minseo is that chance, Soomin, he can't live all his life without knowing about his daughter and I am sure one day Minseo would ask about her father."

Yeah, I do know about this but how could I go to him after all these years and tell him that he has a daughter? And just because he told me in future we could try out, I can't go back to him, he told me I was a distraction for him that stopped him from moving forward in his career, I can't just move past the hurt I felt from that.

Just when I was about to respond back to my father, Minseo came running in, "eomma, eomma," she called out. "Yes, baby?" I turn to her, as she haltes in front of me, wearing a yellow summer dress that looked so pretty on her.

"Can I get a bracelet for this dress, eomma? None of mine match this dress," she pouted looking down at her dress, it was a new one that Nabi bought for her last week.

"Grandpa told me you weren't going out today?" I raised an eyebrow, I was very scared to let her go out alone in the beginning and I still am, but I wanted her to know how the outside world works. I didn't want her to always be in the safety of her home and suffer in the future when she is alone.

"Yeah, I just felt like dressing up, doesn't this dress look pretty? I love the colour and how bright it is," she grinned at me, before doing a little twirl for us.

"Woah," my father clapped his hands, "my granddaughter looks so pretty!" he exclaimed, "you look really beautiful, Min," I complimented. She smiled shyly, muttering 'thank you'.

"Come, I will show you everything I have, you can choose whatever you want,"  I said, as I got up with my coffee mug. She happily nodded and skipped her way to my room before me. I walked into my closet behind her and opened the drawer that had all my bracelets laid out neatly. 

I used to be a very messy person at one point while Hoseok liked everything clean and arranged properly, and that habit of his seemed to have rubbed off on me through the time we were together.

"Wow, they all are so pretty, eomma," she gushed, before she leaned down and started looking at everything. Her eyes land on a beautiful gold colored bracelet that had a very thin chain with a sunflower in the middle.  She picked it up and showed it to me, "this is so pretty, eomma, but I have never seen you wear it though," she said.

I pause looking at the bracelet in her hand, "this was the first gift that your father gave to me," hearing that she immediately places the bracelet back in it's place carefully. "I am sorry, eomma," she mumbled, looking down, I let out a light laugh and ruffle her hair, "would you like to see everything he gave to me?" I asked, smiling at her.

She hesitantly nodded. "Your father wasn't financially strong when we were together, but he still used to gift me whenever possible. He gave me flowers at least once a week, and brought me gifts like this bracelet, rings, and plushies, because I love them. You know most of the plushies I own are from him," I kept talking, it felt good to recall all those.

"You still have his gifts?" she asks, "he had put in a lot to get me those and he was my first love, I couldn't bring myself to just throw it. The day we broke up, I threw the promise ring out of anger and I really regret it sometimes" I smiled sadly.

"This one here is the plushie that he gave me when we went on our one year anniversary date," I showed her the medium sized teddy bear that was on my bed with the others.

"He was very insecure when he gifted me that bracelet and our promise ring, because that was all he could give me at that point. He mentioned how I could get gold or even diamond rings from my family's wealth whereas he could only give me those, that day he promised that when he is financially well, he would get me only the best ones out there," I smiled recalling how lovely he was.

"The price of the gift doesn't matter, the thought to give something and the effort put into it is what matters." I laughed proudly at what my daughter said, "that's exactly what I told him"

Collecting myself I look at her and ask "Are you curious about your father?" her silence was enough of an answer.

"I promise I will soon tell you all about him dear. I just need some time, I'm sorry" I cupped her cheeks as she slowly smiled and nodded.

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