𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐖𝐢𝐧 || 𝐉𝐇𝐒

15 - Dilemma - Right or Wrong?

Soomin pov

As soon as I closed the main door, I fell to the ground.

I knew it was going to come out sooner or later, but the look on his face when I told him made me feel guilty and pathetic for not telling him sooner. I was never angry at him for leaving me all alone when I was pregnant, I can't blame him for something he never knew about, I was the one who didn't tell him I was pregnant when I found out after our break up.

At that time I was angry that he left me for his career. I know he was very well capable of handling our relationship and his career at the same time like he used to in those 2 years we were dating, but he gave up on us, which broke me.

Tears streamed down my eyes as I sobbed, clutching the cloth above my chest.  Many thoughts clouded my mind, did I do the right thing by telling him now? I also remembered telling him that I won't let him into Minseo's life, what if Minseo hates me for it? what if he tries to take full custody of Minseo because of it?

At the thought of Minseo, I remembered how I left her there after dropping the bomb, I immediately wiped my tears and stood up, walking back to her room. She was on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest while looking blankly at the floor.  I took cautious steps towards her and sat next to her. When her eyes landed on me, she moved forward and wrapped her arms around me, her face burying into my chest. She started sobbing in a few seconds. I didn't know what to tell so I softly caressed her back, letting her know that she wasn't alone and I was there for her.

"I am sorry for dropping it all of a sudden, Minnie, I wasn't thinking straight...I didn't know what else to do," I mumbled, a tear rolling down my eyes too.

"You know... sometimes I wished he was my father, eomma. Whenever we were together, he took care of me so nicely that I wanted him to be the father who I didn't know about," she said between her sobs, my heart wrenched at that. I did this to my daughter, I made her yearn for a father's love because of my selfishness.

"I am sorry, baby, I am so so sorry, I will make sure to fill the void of a father in your life," I said, kissing the top of her head. "You won't let me meet him, eomma?" she asked, looking up at me with red-shot eyes, making my heart break.  "...No," I shook my head, "we don't need him in our lives, Minnie, I am there for you and you are there for me, that's enough," I know I was being selfish again, but Minnie was everything I had, she is the reason for me to wake up every day and move forward and I didn't want to lose her.

"But I like him, eomma, it would be really nice if he is also with us," she said, looking at me with hopeful eyes. It took everything in me to say no to her, "trust me, baby, you don't need him," I said, avoiding her eyes.

"You don't need him, eomma, but I do, I want Appa, eomma, all my friends have a father and I need one too, they always tell how they go on family trips with their mother and father, and I see they come with their father to school for meetings and during fathers day they play games with their father while I am just standing there all alone. Everyone makes fun of me for not having a father. They flaunt how they get things from their fathers while I only have my mother for doing those things and never father, they turn to me and ask, "what did your father get for you?'' and when I tell them you bought it for me they say, "your father never gets anything for you, doesn't he like you?" They also go to parks and their father carries them on his shoulder around the park while I just sit there and see how much fun they have with their father." She cried, pleading with me with her eyes to change my mind and when I didn't tell anything, she got up and ran out of the room.

Author pov

An hour later, Jungkook came out of their gaming room for a can of beer and noticed they were out of beer,  despite him clearly remembering filling the cabinet in the fridge himself with beer just yesterday. He turned towards the living room in confusion when he saw Hoseok on the couch, his head thrown back on the backrest with a beer can in his hand and a few empty ones, crushed and littered around him on the ground. He gasped, running to the elder, Hoseok was never the person to drink this much. He patted Hoseok's cheeks, trying to wake him up, but he wasn't moving. "Hyung! Hyung! Hyung, someone please come here," he shouted to no one in particular as he didn't know who was home at that time.