You (Zarry AU)💚💛

You've moved on

After their encounter, they continued with their lives. Apart.

With Harry attempting suicide, he had to attend mandatory individual therapy and the support group which he refused. He can't see Zayn again.

His case was assigned to a psychiatrist, Dr. Corden, a man in his mid-thirties, with blue eyes, who has always had a smile on his face even though he has the most critical cases on his hands. He also held a psychoanalysis degree which is why he was having these sessions with him.

It was Friday afternoon and Harry was lying on his couch watching at the ceiling without saying more than a couple of sentences during the forty-five minutes he had to be there. He never says much, and that day wasn't the exception.

"What do you want to talk about today?" The doctor asked.

"Erm, I don't know," Harry answered.

"I can tell you have something in your mind," The doctor inquired.

"Erm, I guess so, I..." Harry whispered after a few minutes and the doctor kept silent.

Harry remembered the look on Zayn's face when he asked him if they could be friends. He was sad and disappointed.

"I..., I think I made a mistake," Harry said eventually and the doctor didn't say anything else, letting Harry keep going.

"But I can't... I can't do that to Ezra,"
Harry eventually said.

"Do what to Ezra?" The doctor asked cautiously. Harry was beginning to open up a bit.

"You know, being with someone else completely. When he... died, he thought I didn't love him," Harry let out.

"Do you think he'd want you to be alone?" The doctor asked.

Silence.

"No, I don't think so. He... loved me," Harry answered after a few minutes.

"So, he'd like you to move on and carry on with your life, wouldn't he?" The doctor said.

Silence.

"I don't deserve to carry on with my life if he's dead because of me," Harry whispered.

"It's not your fault Harry. And I don't think Ezra would like that for you," the doctor said and at that moment the timer sounded.

Harry stood up quickly closing off again.

"Gotta go," Harry said in a rush, grabbing his jacket, and walking out.

"See you next week," the doctor said having no reply from Harry. "Well, we're making progress here," he sighed looking at his notepad.

Harry couldn't stop thinking about the last thing that the doctor said before the session ended.

He walked and walked until he found himself outside a place he had avoided visiting all this time, but that day, he unconsciously walked over there.

The cemetery.

He stood at the entrance for a while, but he finally crossed the gate. He didn't remember where Ezra was buried, he was there during the service, but everything was blurry in his head. But after circling the place a couple of times he found the tombstone.

His stomach sank.

It was the first time since they buried him, that he visited his grave. He never thought he'd be there, but somehow it was the place he had to be at that moment.

He sat next to it and observed it, he caressed the name engraved on the stone. He stared at it for a long time, until the letters didn't make sense in his mind.