Remnant [h.s]

chapter eleven

I don't like remembering. Remembering makes me feel things. I don't like feeling things.

☆ ☆ ☆

Arwen Milton

I must've fallen asleep on Binx's carpet. Snuggled up with Sully in my arms, his own little hands clutching onto me as if I was going to slip away. My back was uncomfortably leaning against the drywall, there was such an ache coursing through me as I was in this position, spending hours awkwardly hunched over with a hand holding onto Sully and the other grasping Binx's little fingers.

I probably could've switched position in my sleep but I guess I was too tired to be moving around at the dead of night. I was too tired to really care of the damage I was doing to my back, and maybe the pain in my back was distracting the pain in my mind.

And it wasn't the pain that woke me up, it wasn't the striking ache down my spine that startled me awake. It wasn't the children quietly babbling between themselves and it wasn't their delicate snores.

It was Harry.

Harry was the one to wake me up.

"What are you doing on the floor?" he looked down at me with a frown. His hair disheveled and dark bags hang under his eyes.

It takes me a while to come around to my surroundings, I thought it was still night time, so I was shocked to see the autumn sun streaming through the window, the stars replaced with clouds and it's the first time I've actually seen sunshine in over a week.

Perhaps it was a sign.

"What?" I pull myself up a little, having to blink a few times to clear the blurriness from my vision. Was he even standing in front of me right now or was I dreaming this?

"Why are you on the floor?" He repeats his question, standing awkwardly before me.

It was a dumb question coming from him.

He was the reason I was on the floor. He was the reason that I had to sit and hum his children to sleep. Because he wasn't here.

There was no 'good morning' or 'thank you so much for taking the kids last night, I owe you'. There was no questions of how they were, no explanation as to where he had ran off to. Just a question of why I was on the floor.

"I must've fallen asleep" I carefully pull my hand away from Binx's so I could rub my eyes. My brain slowly waking up a little more as I do.

"Where did you go?" I ask him the big question, using both arms to hoist Sully up onto my chest so I could be a little more comfortable.