Remnant [h.s]

chapter thirty two

What are we doing? I'm never really sure.

☆ ☆ ☆

Arwen Milton

I suppose it was no surprise to say that I had been spending my days with Harry. Every passing moment was spent within his company, though it wasn't just for the kids anymore, I wasn't just doing this to keep them afloat, I was genuinely wanting to be in Harry's company.

Since Christmas Day I had genuinely enjoyed being beside Harry. Christmas Day was a turning point for us. After Harry had ran after me for the second time within two months, we had wound up at the cemetery, that was the route of all of our problems. Everything always boiled back down to Jazz.

That was the whole reason we were so damn torn apart.

Though I'd never hold a grudge against Jazz, she was the whole reason we were in this mess. I could lightly joke and scald her, teasing that this was all her fault, but I could never fully be mad at her. I could be mad at life, that was for sure, I could be mad at whatever higher power took her away. But I couldn't specifically be mad at Jazz, because I knew she done everything within her power to stay on this earth, with her children and her love, for as long as she possibly could.

Harry was still hurting, a lot, but he had made huge progress within the past few days. The steps he had taken since Christmas Day were honestly groundbreaking and I don't think I could've been prouder of him even if I had tried.

Of course, he had to wait until after Boxing Day to actually reach out to professionals for help, it couldn't just happen there and then, but he had made the first step, and that was the most important one of them all.

The first step was always the scariest, but it was always the one that made all of the difference.

Harry reached out for help on Monday. He held out his hand for somebody to take and he made the first move.

He promised me he would and he stuck to his promise. I admired him for that. It was something that a lot of people would be way too scared to do.

It took a lot of bravery for him to pick up the phone, there were a lot of tears and a lot of rambled panicked words as he thought about his choices and how they'll eventually impact his life.

He was in two minds over it all. He wanted to change and he wanted to do better for us all, he wanted to make the difference, but he was terrified. Though Harry tried to keep most things under wraps, shutting himself down and suffering alone, I was slowly coming to learn his behaviours, and I knew for a fact that that man was shaking with fear.