And then I met You ➳ n.h

Love is a strong word

Since I had been getting all the hate and all this drama from social media, I was not interested in my phone much. In fact, ever since I got back home I haven't even touched it. I only recall placing it in my bag, still on airplane mode, and throwing my bag into the closet. I had no intentions of getting near that ever again even if it means cutting communication with certain people.

It had been almost 2 weeks since I had left and not a day went by when I did not think about Niall. Maybe it was hard to admit it, but my feelings for that boy were stronger than any other and that feeling was what gave me the strength to walk out of his life, basically only for his own benefit rather than mine.

Yes I know that in every cliche love story they use that phrase. How does it go?
"Love is putting someone else's needs before yours"
And yes I am also aware that that was exactly what I had done. Crazy huh? The girl who has always hated cheesy fairy tales is now having her own. Quite unbelievable.

Darn it Anabeth!! Stop overthinking this whole situation!! You left and there's no going back. The boys will finish their tour strong and soon they'll forget about your existence. Jenni and you will go to college, graduate, and lead a successful life without the need of a love story. Focus on the plan. Forget Niall James Horan. Forget him.

But I can't do that.

I was in a debate with myself. Part of me wanted to continue on with my life as it was before. The other part greatly desired to go back to Niall regardless of what it may cause. Realism versus idealism. A paradox of messy thoughts.

Here's another fun fact about me: I write when I'm sad or frustrated. It allows me to get all my emotions out instead of holding them all inside. So I wrote a letter to my Blondie. Or.. "the no longer mine" Blondie. Ouch. That hurt.

" Stranger,
I believe I should begin by saying hi and explaining why I left without notice. I couldn't stay by your side, watching all your fans leave, and be okay with it. What you do is amazing. Not only do you sing, you transmit. You make people believe in their worth and talents. That's a great job you have and you deserve all the support you can get, not hate. And that's why I left. I wasn't going to be selfish. I put you before myself because I- I can't believe I'm saying this cliche phrase. -because I love you Blondie. I didn't believe in love, I didn't believe that Prince Charming, and fairy tales existed. I refused to let my happiness depend on having someone by my side. And then I met you. You changed my whole perspective of a cheesy tale. You changed me. I love you, I love you, I love you and I'm truly sorry for doing this to you but its for the best and we gotta keep moving on with our lives.
Forever yours,
Anabeth. "

Obviously, I'm never sending this letter, but at least I got it out. I know for a fact that love is a strong word, but so are my feelings for him and if this is not love, then I have no idea what it is.