And then I met You ➳ n.h

Change my Mind

Niall stopped walking once we had reached the back of the castle where there was no one but a few backstage workers.

"This is a better pla-"

I cut him off.

"Niall, I know I'm the last person you want to see so just please. Hear me out."

He nodded.

I closed my eyes to try to relax and began talking,

"I'm not here hoping that you'll take me back. I know that's a stupid wish. However, I am hoping that we can out the past aside for a while. Yeah?"

He nodded again and I continued.

"I'm here because neither of us deserve this feeling of emptiness. You got my letter so I won't repeat everything I wrote there, it would be a waste of time. The moment I stepped out of that bus, I regretted it. Why did I not stay? I don't know, I can be stupid sometimes. Okay? Now, every day something reminds me of you and goddammit I can't deal with it! You guys took over every radio station, every TV channel, even every school subject. I've had thousands of sleepless nights, breakdowns, and endless debates with myself. I haven't been the same as I was before I met you and I never will be. I guess what I'm trying to say is that leaving was the worst thing I have ever done, but also the best; because it made me realize that I had fallen in love with you.. I might not want to depend on a boy to be fully happy but Niall, you're darn close to being my entire happiness. Yes it's cliche and dumb, I can't believe I'm saying this, but there, I said it. I love you and I'm very sorry.."

I didn't even think about what I was going to say, it was one of those moments when words just come out of your mouth based on what you feel rather than think.

I could tell Niall didn't know what to say either, or if what he wanted to say was the best. He continued walking back and forth, passing his hand through his hair then down to cover his face as if hat was going to help his thoughts.

He began to talk, or actually yell. It's obvious he's frustrated.

"Anabeth, as much as I want to, I can't just set the past aside! Do you have any idea how difficult it was to come back after stage practice and find out you were gone? Do you have any idea how heartbreaking it is when the only girl I've ever truly loved leaves then breaks up with me through a freaking letter?! Anabeth it's been a year! I get it that we're both busy and unreachable but after a year you decide to come back and get closure? Why'd you want to go and make me feel this way? You don't hurt the person you 'love'. Do you have any idea of what you do to me, even up to this date? I still feel like the very first day we met. You were different, you were real. Everything about you made me love you harder as the days passed. Every time you're near me, suddenly my heart begins to race. Every time I leave, I don't know why my heart begins to break. I just can't be as brave as you and walk out of whatever this was, but I don't have any better choice. I love you Anabeth and I might love you forever, but after everything that happened I think we're better off away from each other. I'm sorry."

I froze. My emotions at this point were all over the place. I was extremely happy, it had been the first time ever that Niall had told me he loved me in person and not through a message or song. On the other side of the scale, I was extremely sad and also frustrated. I know my goal was not for Niall to take me back so easily, my goal was to get to talk to him and at least get closure so we can both be like before, but I will admit that something in me was unconsciously hoping he would forgive me and take me back so that we could continue from where we had left off.

Was this happening?

I stared at his blue eyes for a good amount of time. It was probably the last time anyways. My expression was blank and I had no good answer to what he had just said. I didn't want to say anything anyways, simply staring into his eyes was enough for me.
It was night and the only light there was in the park was the ton of little lights that decorated the castle and the bright moon. These lights made an amazing contrast with his beautiful eyes making them appear bluer and shinier than ever. If it was my last time ever having him in front of me, it's okay.. it was worth it.

I finally crossed my arms across my chest, looked down, and took a step back. Then I looked back up, smiled, and walked away.

Niall was still standing there as if he had refused to move ever again. I looked back at him one last time, he still had his eyes set on me walking away from him.

His face had many different emotions being expressed.

Did I travel across the United States to walk away and give up so easily on this boy?

No I didn't.

I wasn't sure what I would say, but I walked back until I was only inches away from his face again.
The only idea that came into my mind was the most overdone thing in romantic movies that always makes me want to throw up or destroy the TV screen, and guess what? I did it anyways.

I knew that spending an entire month being tortured by Jennifer making me listen to only One Direction songs would have a good outcome someday. A few days before coming to Orlando, I listened to the song "Change My Mind", it wasn't such a new release but it was crazy how well I could identify with that tune.

I began to sing.

"The end of the night,
We should say goodbye,
But we carry on,
While everyone's gone."

Niall seemed confused but at the same time he knew what I was doing and he knew the song better than anyone else could know it. He didn't move or say anything.

"Never felt like this before,
Are we friends or are we more?
As I'm walking towards the door,
I'm not sure."

I continued signing as I slowly walked away from him.

"But baby if you say you want me to stay,
I'll change my mind;
'Cause I don't wanna know I'm walking away,
If you'll be mine.
Won't go, won't go.
So baby if you say you want me to stay,
Stay for the night,
I'll change my mind."

I stopped walking and singing. I was perhaps only a few feet away from him. He looked at me blankly, now it was him who didn't know what to say or do as his breathing got heavier and his eyes watery.

I just recreated a cliche moment from over a hundred movies, for nothing. Gross. I tried, at least I tried. But he didn't do anything.

"Goodbye, Niall" I finally said before walking away completely without looking back.