My Lion. || BXB

chapter fourty-three.

wednesday morning came around quickly and i was currently walking to school with freddie. the past few days, i had walked with lionel from his house but since i had moved back to my own home now i started walking with fred again. of course i still met lionel at lunches and we'd walk home together, so i still saw him often.

things with him and i have been going lovely these past few days. i haven't heard a peep from the stranger who messaged me the picture of lionel and i kissing so that made my worries vanish. i never asked lionel what he did to stop the stalker, i never asked if he found out who it was; because i simply did not want to know.

the lingering question was circling my mind of 'are mickey and lionel going to have their usual fight?' i'd like to assume not, but i know mickey will almost force it. surely lionel wouldn't do it. right?

"so, what do you think about clare?" he asked me, and i didn't even register what he said until moments later.
yet i still had no idea who he was talking about. "who?"
"clare... cormac's girlfriend you idiot."
"oh!" right. "she's alright."
"i don't like her." freddie stated, and his words confused me.
"what? why?" i puzzled.

"she is taking cormac away from us! you know, me and him were going to the movies tomorrow but he canceled so he could take her out for dinner. he had plans with mickey last week to go out to a bar and drink with their new fake ids, but he canceled to go out with clare. AGAIN!" and suddenly i felt kinda bad for freddie. he was clearly dealing with a serious case of fear of abandonment. i don't even think he dislikes clare, i think he just doesn't want to be left behind.

"don't be stupid freds, cormac isn't going anywhere. he's our best friend." i spoke calmly, patting him on the back.
"and how long will that last? as soon as you tell him about your secret boyfriend cormac will hate you." i flinched at his harsh words. but i also flinched because i knew he was right.

"don't say that." i pouted, taking my arm back and folding both of them against each other.
"i'm serious." he spat, and suddenly i felt as though freddie and i were having our first argument? "dump your idiot boyfriend so our friend group can stay together! stop being.. being... BEING SELFISH!" he shouted his last words and i froze in my spot as i watched him angrily stomp away. i don't think freddie has ever been so aggressive towards me.

i'm selfish. i know i am. i'm a selfish, shitty, unreliable friend and i don't deserve cormac. freddie's right, i should call it quits with lionel.. it's what cormac and the rest of the group needs.

i'll tell him later today.

because of freddie and i's little argument earlier, i was now late to class and feeling extremely anxious... i wondered what i could say to him to make him forgive me, but i didn't think of anything.

as i walked into the maths class, the teacher gave me an uninterested huff before continuing with his lesson. i knew i'd get detention for being late, he didn't even have to say it. i slouched down in my chair besides cormac and greeted my friend with a smile.

"why are you late?" he asked me, and i sighed.
i didn't want fred to think i was a gossiper, but i knew cormac was going to find out eventually. "freddie and i had an argument on our way here. he kinda stormed off and i waited back for a bit."

"an argument about what?" how i'm dating your sworn nemesis, nothing crazy.
"nothing important, i'll sort it out with him at break." i shrugged in the most 'cool' way i possibly could and thankfully cormac bought it and didn't say anything further.

break rolled around and cormac and i were walking down the halls together to find the rest of our friend group. when i spotted freddie, my heart sunk a little. he shot me a nasty glare, before walking off in the opposite direction — abandoning not only me but all of our friends.

"what was that about?" a clueless isaac said, scratching his hair awkwardly.
"i'll fix it." i said with an eye roll, but followed freddie nonetheless.

"FREDDIE!" i shouted down the hall, catching some of the attention of random peers but thats not what i was worried about.
"go away, hunter." freddie growled from infront of me, but he was just out of reach.

unfortunately, freddie's little tantrum was interrupted when he tripped over someones unexpected shoe.
"lionel—" my eyes widened at the sight of my 'almost' boyfriend tripping freddie up. i had no clue if that was on purpose, although i could take an educated guess and say it was.

"oh! just the man i wanted to see!" freddie fake grinned as he stumbled back up to his feet. he placed an accusing finger against lionel's chest, and i instantly knew freddie had fucked up.
"lionel i have to say—"
but the red headed boy wasn't even slightly interested. "mate, if you dont remove your hand off my body in the next second i will fuck you up." freddie's eyes widened and shamefully took his finger away.
"that's what i thought."
"freddie can we just—" i spoke, but was quickly interrupted.
"oh huntley just fuck off!" freddie shouted, and i knew he had fucked up once again.

lionel gripped onto fred's collar and pulled him up and against the wall. "watch your fucking mouth." he growled, pressing his body daringly against freddie's.
my heard quickened, "lionel stop it!" i whisper-shouted, knowing we were now forming an uncomforting circle around us. lionel momentarily turned his head slightly to look at me. i shook my head and watched as he let out a sigh before dropping freddie to the floor.
"whatever." he huffed before stalking away, leaving freddie and i in a very awkward position. was i supposed to help him up or...

my thoughts were answered as freddie desperately scrambled to his feet to scowl at me. "leave me alone."
"i don't understand why you're so mad!"

by now, all the randomers who were listening in had disappeared which left fred and i alone in this vast hallway. it made me feel nauseous.

"you're a liar! why wouldn't i be mad?"
i shook my head, "but— you've known about lionel and i for ages, why are you getting all pissy about it now?"
"pissy? i'm getting pissy?" he scoffed at me, "sorry for wanting to keep our friend group together!"

"i'm sorry freddie but i don't know what you want from me! you know what, i was gonna end it with him. for YOU. but fuck that! if you're gonna be an insufferable twat about this, then yes i'll 'fuck off' and stay away from you." i was angry. i was absolutely seething. so after i finished my rant, i followed through with my words. i turned on my heel and walked away as calmly as i possibly could.

maybe i should've tried more, maybe i should've been more understanding. but i will never let anyone treat me like they're better than me, not after the shit i went through in primary school. i will never let anyone treat me the way them boys did ever again.