My Lion. || BXB

chapter fifty-seven.

"hey love." lionel serenaded as he picked me up from my house before we started walking to school.
"hi." i smiled, "how are you after yesterday? with your brother,"
"it's fine, i'm fine."
for some reason, i was unsatisfied with that shrug of an answer."you can talk to me about these things lio, i want you to trust me."

lionel looked down, "i do trust you."
"then, tell me how you're actually feeling."
lionel's face shrivelled up at that, and i knew i had said the wrong thing as he started to get angry with me.
"for fucks sake hunter, what do you want me to say? that i'm upset my brother wants nothing to do with me? that i hate my dad for taking him away from me? that i'm so annoyed at myself for calling him in the first place?" he exploded, making me stop walking to stare at him.
"i... i'm just trying to help." i look down.
lionel shrugged, "well don't, not with this. i need to deal with this alone, okay?" i knew he was starting to calm down now. thankfully.

i walked into tutor late that morning, and sat down besides jacob. i was thankful the tutor was a very lenient place as we could all just move seats whenever we wanted.
"morning, mate." i said, smiling at him as i sat. he looked up and me and i watched his face light up when he saw me.
"hey hunter." he said, "how's your boyfriend this morning? i saw him walking to school alone, he looked like he was in a strop." yes i told jacob about lionel, and of course marianna already knew but i hadn't told the other two girls in our friend group just yet.

jacob was very chill when he found out about me and lionel, probably because he didn't have much beef with the guy unlike my old friend group. truth be told, jacob didn't like lionel much due to his aggresive and rather rude personality. but when he found out about my relationship with him, and how he acted so differently with me; jacob was happy for us.

"we had a bit of an argument, i guess." i let out an exasperated sigh, showing how over it i was.
"about?"
"long story."
"well whatever it is, i say just leave him for today and talk to him tomorrow when he's cooled off." jacob responded and i nodded in agreement. honestly, the amount of times lionel and i have had an argument, i know the rodeo by now. we'd argue, i'd ignore him for a few hours, he'll cool down and come crawling back, i'd forgive him and then we'd be all loved up again. it was a never ending cycle with lionel, but like i said before, the good parts of love are simply too good to give up.

i made my way to pe and awkwardly walked into the changing rooms. i hated getting dressed im the cubicle where isaac and cormac both got dressed also, but i didn't really know anyone else in my class that i could change with. so i quickly took off my shirt and replaced it with my pe top and then did the same with my bottoms. without a second glance, i walked away. the other boys in the cubicle, finn and archie, could obviously tell we weren't friends anymore but haven't asked me what we argued about. i guess they just don't want to get involved.

"hey guys." i said as i approached the group i had been joining in pe since i first got here; harvey, jack and evan. they always let me join their group which i appreciated.
"hi mate." they all greeted me before we started doing warmups.

multiple times during the warmup, cormac caught my eye awkwardly. although every time our eyes did connect, i quickly turned around and mentally cursed myself for looking over to him. first the encounter in maths the other day, and now the lingering looks? if i didn't know any better i'd think cormac wanted to talk to me, but why?

after pe i was in a rush to get changed again, not only because of the tension in the cubicle but also because i didn't want to be late for my next lesson. after i was all buttoned-up and ready to go, i picked up my bag and started making my way out the changing rooms. yet i didn't make it far before i heard someone calling my name from behind me.

i turned, locking eyes immediately with cormac murphy. we stood still in the corridors, the sound of casual chatter from strangers around us blocking our ears. i stayed in one spot as i watched him walk towards me.
"hi." he said to me, almost as if it were that simple.
i scoffed, "hi?" and i watched his face shrivel up in embarrassment, "is that all you have to say to me?"

he held his hands up in a 'surrender' manner and started, "listen, hunter—" but i quickly cut him off.
but as soon as my words started coming out, there was no stopping the word vomit. "no you listen. you abandoned me when i was at my most vulnerable. you made me think i could depend on you as my 'best friend' but then ditched me when you found out i had some sort of connection with a guy you hate. there is no coming back from that, let me inform you now."

he looked shocked, with his eyes wide and his mouth hanging slightly agape. cormac had never seen this side of me before. the angry side, the betrayed side, the hurt side. and i think what bothers cormac the most is knowing he, and all the other boys i used to trust my life with, caused it.

cormac shuffled on his feet, "i'm sorry." he mumbled. "that's all i wanted to say, i'm sorry. and i know you'll never forgive me — and rightly so! — but i'm sorry hunter."
and i sorta felt kinda bad for cormac. i could tell he was regretting his choices, but he still made them at the end of the day.

i didn't respond to him, i just nodded before turning around and walking away. after all, what did he want me to say? that it was all okay and forgiven? because it wasn't.

i shook off our encounter completely and pushed it to the back of my mind as i walked into english. i took my normal seat and started reading the textbook that was already placed on my desk. i wasn't going to let this stupid apology ruin my day, i wouldn't.