Bluer than Blue

A R O N A

strong

All of her...

(4)

"Where's my daughter?" Agad na bungad ko kay Juri.

She's in the nurse station, mukhang katatapos lang ng rounds niya.

She's a great friend of mine here in Australia. She's the one who's taking care of my baby.

"She's doing well, and her body is responding well to the medicines." She looked at me with her brow raised. "I can remember telling you that and to stay relaxed because she's okay now. You still have a week left to stay in the Philippines." Juri looked at me suspiciously as if reading me, and later on she nodded her head as if she confirmed something.

I don't have time to mind her and immediately run into my daughter's room. She was confined because her asthma attacked while she was playing in the park. To assure that she's fine, Juri decided to take her to the hospital.

Juri is a general surgeon here at Orange Health Service in New South Wales, Australia. We became friends when I moved here, and she is also the reason why I became a nurse here.

As soon as I opened the door, I felt relieved to see Arona sleeping soundly in the bed while hugging her favorite teddy bear. I silently walked to her. Hindi maipapaliwanag ang takot na naramdaman ko noong nalaman kong isinugod siya sa hospital.

As a mother, I can't bring myself to stay calm while I am away, and I know she's not fine. She's my life now, I-I can't lose her.

I fixed the few strands of her hair that were in her face, then she cutely scratched her nose, making me chuckle.

"Don't scare me like that. Mommy loves you so much." I whispered while fixing her hair. 

"I told you she's okay." Juri said while leaning on the doorway of the room. 

"I need to see her and assure she's fine with my own eyes. Of course I trust you, Juri, but as a mother, I just can't be in a country away from her when I know she needs me." I slowly sit in the chair beside Arona's bed. When my back felt the back of the chair, I felt the exhaustion and sleepiness I endured during the whole flight.

"I know, but it is also the first time you took a break and went home to your country. You should have enjoyed it." Juri walked inside the room and sat on the sofa.

"I-In fact..I want to thank you for calling. You wake me up from a dream I am having in the Philippines." The words that came out of my throat were so heavy, and I could feel my heart aching. It is aching with a familiar pain I tried to forget for years, but just by seeing her blue eyes, my walls are shattered.

I let her in. She came in without knowing the mess, and she doesn't deserve this.

"B-But I still have a few more days left to be with you. Ang atat mo namang iwan ako."

 Her words are echoing in my head. 

I closed my eyes and shook my head. I need to get myself together. I am now back here in Orange; this is my reality, and I have my daughter who needs me.

"Something happened back there, right?" Juri said like she knew and was just confirming.

I helplessly nodded my head and looked at her. "I-I almost forgot...that I have a daughter. I am starting to be selfish and want something I don't deserve to have. T-Thank you for the w-wake up call."