Library love (Taejin)

26.The first and last letter.

❗️trigger warning❗️

Weeks passed since Taehyungs mother died and the funeral was taken.
All these weeks Taehyung was heartbroken and lonely, even tho he always had his friends by his side. Still the cold loneliness never leaved Taehyung.
He tried to get use to the feeling that no one will be waiting for him at home, that no one will call him son, that no one will love him like his parents did.. he did really try but he just couldn't wrap his head around. The pain grew and grew with the days passing.
It grew so much that he couldn't take it anymore.

So he stood there, looking down, seeing his Feet on the edge and beneath him the busy street, full of people. People who had someone right next to them, kids with their parents together on their way to somewhere.. just people who were living their life. Of course he knew that some of the people had problems,had lost someone or somewhat.. but he knew that it wouldn't change anything.
He suffers on his own, sadness overtook his heart and the only thing that he could feel is the pain that he had over the weeks.
Loosing his Mother was the last straw for him.
After loosing his father he wanted to end it all.. but he couldn't, because of his mom. He didn't want that she would suffer to a loss of a loved one again.

So that she was also gone no.. nothing could keep Taehyung alive.

He closed his eyes and concentrate on the wind that was brushing on his skin.
While his eyes were closed he could only thing about one person.
Jimin.
He would leave him alone... no. He wouldn't.
He had so many friends now. Yoongi, Hoseok, Jin and his boyfriend Namjoon.
So.. no, Jimin wouldn't be alone. Yet.. he would lose his best friend. His brother since day one..
And that thought was so much worse then Taehyung imagined.
Not only would jimin lose his brother and best friend.. so would Hoseok. His hyung.. his brother that helped him grow up.. his lovely hyung would also lose his brother.
Not just Taehyung lost his mom.. so did Hoseok and now losing his brother would be to much for Hoseok... right??
But he could manage it.. right?? With Yoongi and all by his side.. he would survive it.

So the only one left was Seokjin.. his boyfriend.. his- what he thought- lover till the very end.
But the end was sooner there as Taehyung imagined.
He had a great time with his love.. yet he will leave him. Taehyung will purposely brake his loved one his heart.
He will make Jin suffer just like he suffers himself. He will leave Jin like his family left him..

But Jin would understand it. He would understand that Taehyung wants to be with his family. He would understand.. right??

They all would.. right??

Taehyungs smiled a bit when he thought about this, about the thought that he will be with his parents again.. that brings him joy and happiness. Excitement.

With the thought of being with his family again, he stepped one step further...

.....

Falling down, deep deep down, what felt like an eternity.
The cold wind, brushing fast on his skin, trough his hair. Feeling cold. Yet deep down he was so warm. So excited to die...

——————————————-

Hey guys,
It's me Taehyung. I Hope when you guys see this that I am finally gone. I am sorry. Really, I really am so sorry for leaving you all.. but I couldn't take it anymore. But let me start from the beginning.
Since my father died, I wanted to die as well. But with the thought that my mother would be alone, without her both boys, I couldn't do it. Yet I wanted to do it. I always had that thought right in my mind. Every day. But I just couldn't leave her.. Leave Jimin and Ms Park.
And now you guys, Jungkook, Yoongi, Namjoon Hoseokie hyung and Jin. I couldn't leave you guys as well.
But since my mother died... these thoughts of freedom were so loud. So so soo loud. It killed me from the inside.
The thought that I could be with my mom and dad again killed me. I long to be with my family again.
I know, my mom hasn't left for a long time, still i miss her so much... Just like Jimin and Hoseok, right?
Anyways.. as I said, I am really sorry for leaving.. we didnt have much time together, still I am thankful for everything that you guys did. The first birthday that I had since 10 years felt like pure joy. It was really fun, I swear. I am really thankful for you guys.