𝐁𝐋𝐔𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓- 𝙟𝙤𝙝𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚

16. 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐀

         — ASTRA

Johnny was present in my brain, even after everything. Images of Daisy kissing him kept replaying over and over, and yet the love that I felt for him was still there. I knew that Johnny didn't kiss back, but it still hurt to see him in such a position. I wasn't mad, just upset and devastated at the sight and situation. It was Daisy who I was infuriated at. I so badly wanted to give her what she deserved, grate her teeth on the pavement and beat her to a pulp.

Even with those desiree, I hadn't seen her since the incident. Not one sight of her, which was odd considering how extroverted she was. I thought about the possibilities apart from not wanting to see me or Johnny— maybe her fake ass friends dropped her after they found out what a piece of shit she is, or maybe she finally realised how much of a bitch she is and had decided to lock herself away from the world. Either way, I was just glad that she wasn't around— that way, I didn't have to get my hands dirty.

I walked down to the DX to visit Steve and Soda during their shift. I went early, knowing that Johnny wouldn't be there. He rarely visited them anyway, unless he was with Pony and Dallas.

"We know what happened, Ash." Soda stated somewhat sympathetically as I sat on the counter, watching them both hack away at some random Soc girls car who came over to see Soda. "Listen, Johnny's real sorry about all of it. Ive never seen him in such a state as bad as this one. You gotta talk to him, it wasn't even him who kissed Daisy. He didn't even kiss back!"

"I know! it's just.." I sighed deeply, "It's difficult seeing somebody you love kissing someone else. You should know out of all the people Soda." I commented, recalling what happened with Sandy. He shook his head as he was still shaken, still heartbroken.

"Listen, just.. at least talk to him this week. Or try to. One small conversation couldn't hurt." Steve jumped in as he rolled himself out from under the red mustang. I nodded at the both of them, continuing to watch as they went back and forth between the car and the tool box, somewhat intrigued with their work. "Are you and Johnny even broken up?"

"No, we just aren't talking... at least, that's what I think? I don't know, I haven't talked to him since but I never told him it was over so.. it can't be." I questioned, hoping to myself that it came off more of a confused tone than a statement.

"Well.. listen, just talk to him, alright?" Soda patted me on the back as I sighed deeply. I nodded, hopping down from the counter and walking toward the door. "Thanks Soda! Thanks Steve!" I waved goodbye, leaving the DX and hearing a light jingle of the bell above the door.

The sun beamed onto my skin as I walked down the sidewalk, aimlessly walking around Tulsa. My legs began to ache after an hour of walking and thinking, my skin and pores beginning to sweat. My throat began to run dry due to the heat, so I decided to make my way to the Dingo, going to sit down for a simple coke.

Walking into the diner, the booths were empty and barren. It was early and the Dingo had just opened, leaving the staff without a task— talking behind the counters and huddled together, gossiping and laughing.

I sat down near the window, leaning my back against the wall as my legs stretched out on the seat of the booth. I threw my head back, both tired and disappointed as my hour walk hadn't gotten me anywhere in terms of decisions and what to do about me and Johnny. Was Soda and Steve right? would I have to talk to Johnny? I wasn't even sure if I was ready to see him, so how would I be able to have a simple conversation with him?

Just as I was lost in thought, a person sat across from me and sat with their arms crossed on the table. I looked up to find Daisy, sitting across from me with a stern expression on her face. I rolled my eyes, biting my inner cheek and shaking my head. "The fuck do you want?"

"I want to explain.." Daisy told me, sounding somewhat ashamed of herself. I couldn't understand why as she knew what she was doing. She brought this upon herself for being such an awful person, and now she'd have to live with the shame— maybe the reason she's apologising is to lift the shame off of her shoulders, but I knew it didn't work that way, but it was clear that she didn't. "I want to tell you why I did what I did.."

I rolled my eyes, but I didn't say anything— I didn't try to stop her, and I didn't want to. I really did want to know what she did what she did, what her motive was. What could possibly lead someone to do something so horrible to someone.

"I... I just wanted to say i'm sorry, first." Daisy told me sadly, staring down at the table, not daring to look up at me.

"You're sorry?" I scoffed, shocked at what she was saying. If she was sorry, she wouldn't have done it at all in the first place? I thought to myself. "Do you know what you've done? to me? to Johnny?"

"I know! I-.." She sighed, "I'm getting to why, okay? but I cant excuse my actions, especially what I did to Johnny. It was uncalled for and he didn't consent to it and I know it was fucked up. Neither of you have to forgive me, but I least want to explain myself." I thought for a second at her words before nodding, allowing her to proceed. "After I told my friends what I did, I thought they would find it funny and they wouldn't think it was serious. But when they found out.. they dropped me."

"That's the only reason you're here? Seriously?" I scolded, gritting my teeth in frustration.

"No! It just made me realise what I did to you. How shitty of a person I was to you, a shitty friend. I never really treated you well when we were friends, and I see that now. And, I'm so so so sorry.." Her voice began to break, and I swore that she was about to cry, but she sucked it up. "I... I was always jealous of you. You're so beautiful and everything about you is practically perfect. I guess I resented you for it which is why I treated you the way I did. And.. I liked Johnny, so when he fell in love with you I grew angry and pushed you away."

I was shocked at her words. The fact that she was jealous of me? and that was her entire motive for acting shitty? I realised now that it made sense. For those years we were friends, she was really jealous of me. But was surprised me the most was the fact that she liked Johnny. She never told me, and worst of all, she tried to steal him from me with the kiss.

"Why didn't you tell me you liked Johnny?" I asked her surprised.

"Because.. I knew there was nothing I could do. I couldn't possibly get him to fall in love with me. But.. I realised that too late. I thought a kiss would change everything, but it just made things worse." She admitted with a guilty expression, her eyes downturned. She still refused to look at me, continuing to look down at the booth table.

I stayed silent for a few moments, taking it and processing everything. "Well.. I thank you for apologising and everything. But.. I can't be your friend, but I can try and forgive you.. with time of course."

She nodded, a look of disappointment but also satisfaction that I had forgiven her but have decided to stay apart. She smiled at me before she slid out of the booth, standing up in front of me. "Thank you.." She told me..

— " GUESS THIS WASN'T SUCH A BAD IDEA"