"Yearning in Silence"

10

Then

Kim

These past months, I felt too confused of my own feelings, I didn't get a chance to ask Yohan for a second date, and he told me that maybe we were rushing things, and he wanted to take it slow, he said 'if I wanted to wait for him, I could, but if I couldn't he'd understand.'
I told him I'd wait. It's been four months now, and it's almost valentine's.

In that span of four months, I spent it hanging out with Chay, and Macau. As my cousin transfered in the same university as mine and Chay, I have learned that they were really just friends.

I'm currently at the mansion, since it's family gathering or whatever, but Vegas and Macau are here.

Macau and I weren't really as close as we are now, I don't usually talk to him, but thanks to Chay we're now friends.

"Do you think Chay like someone?" Macau asked all of a sudden, I almost choke on my own saliva.

Chay? Liking someone?

"I don't know. Why?"  I asked, I think Macau liked Chay, not like I'm against him liking Chay or them dating, but it will be awkward if we hang out together, I'd look like their chaperone.

"'m just asking." Macau answered shrugging.

"Do you like Chay?" He asked again

Do I like Chay? I do. I did, like few months prior.
I did think Chay is pretty cute, and he knows everything about me, he makes me laugh, and he is kind, he is more... I did have and interest in Chay romantically. But not too much, not enough, not in a way that I'd ask him for a date.

I liked him, right after the day of the carnival. I started focusing on the way he talked, he smiled, he walked, everything. But then I realized that no matter how much I liked him, I'd always like Yohan.

"I did, around November? But not at the moment, I think I like Yohan more. And you know things about friendships, some people are better off as friends.  " I answered truthfully.

"So Chay is just 'some people?'" Macau asked, annoyed.

" No, that's not what I'm saying...Chay is way too precious to break. I can't live without him, so I want us to stay friends until we're old. " That simple, that's why I can't fall in love with Chay.

I don't want to fall inlove with Chay.

" Okay, I'll ask him out on Valentine's" Macau said, as he stood up.

Leaving me dazed.

I don't see why not? I'm planning to ask Yohan for a date this valentine's anyways.

After some time, I stood up took my key, and went on Chay's. I texted him that I'll be coming over, and he told me  to just go inside his room, so that's what I did.

"Hey!" I waved at him, he was playing on his guitar as I sat beside him. He just nodded at me, and resumed with what he was doing.

" Are you writing another song?" I asked, leaning closer to him.

"Hm." He answered, as he continues to tune his guitar.

"What's it about?"

"It's a love song" he answered, finally looking at me, smiling.

"What's the title?" I asked again

"Uhm it's " This song is called you, it's not really a song yet, but it's almost done." He answered

" May I hear it? "

He started strumming his guitar in a calm manner, as he closed his eyes, feeling lost at the moment.

"This Song Is Called You
I melt inside whenever you’re near me
I can't stop myself, it's like my heart is about to explode
Feel like I'm drifting away, you make my heart flutter
I can't stand it, I should just say everything that's in my mind"

I've heard Chay's voice hundreds of times, but never in my life time I've ever think of how beautiful it is when he sings with all his heart.

I closed my eyes, drowning on his voice, trying to feel his feelings.
Funny thing is that, just by singing or making something with feelings involved, everything just seems much more meaningful, and beautiful.

"But it's like something is stuck in my mind, I can't quite get the words out
When it comes time, I don't have the nerve
I've got a million words in my heart, I can't keep it all inside I'll go crazy, one day
So I gather all the words that mean love, words that overflow in my heart
It's the melody I want you to hear
It's from the sound of my heart that I want you to hear
The melody that's for only you, and I’ll name this song after you
(na na na na na nan na)"

The moment he stopped singing, was the moment I realized how Chay is the most beautiful thing that someone could ever have.

I stared at him for a while, I didn't know what to say, we just smiled at each other. But I think my heart seems as calm as the atmosphere around us.

" It's beautiful. " I said, looking him straight in to his eyes. I could say he is beautiful, but I don't want to ruin the mood.

" Thank you. " He said shyly, avoiding my gaze.

He started scribbling on his paper again.

" Do you like someone at the moment? " I asked

Chay didn't answer, instead he asked me something to change the subject.

" Are you and Yohan still not together? " He asked, he stood up and kept his things.

" No, I bet you knew what happened. you two are best friends. " I answered shrugging.

" yeah, and I bet, you'd ask him on a date this valentine, won't you? " He teased, but there's something about his tone that I couldn't understand.

"Of course, how about you?"

"Macau asked me to hang out with him." He answered smiling.

"Do you have feelings for Macau?" I asked

"No, we're friends. It would have been more fun if all of us three could hang out, but you have Yohan." He said disappoinment visible on his voice.

"I will hang out with the two of you some other time, but Valentine's are for couples." I said

"Yea, whatever Kim, you didn't have to shove it in my face, that you have a date." He joked.

" You changed the subject, who is it about? "

" What?" He asked confused

" Your song? "

" It's .... For someone I lik— Love." He answered

His answer was what I wanted to hear, but I didn't think he'd answer he have someone he loves. I didn't want to ask further, Chay would tell me whoever it is that he likes when he wants to.

Man that someone would be so lucky.

I just wished he won't break Chay's heart.

                                                                                    

Hi!

✨I put Barcode's song, for reference.✨

Thank you, I hope y'all are liking the story so far!