"Yearning in Silence"

12

Then

Chay

Feeling my sadness wearing me down, I sat on the road side. Not caring about anything else, just letting the rain soak me.

Kim didn't have feelings for me, he didn't have at least once, I am at fault, I know that, I assumed he'd like me...

I rest my head on my arms, as I rain still keeps pouring heavily, same goes tears.

"Chay!" I heard a familiar voice shouts, I looked up and saw the familiar looking guy, running towards me with his umbrella.

He wouldn't know, I'm crying. It's the most beautiful thing about crying in the  rain, no one will know you did...

"Is the party over?" I asked

"Have you been crying?" He asked, yeah sh*t, how'd he know?

"Your voice sounds different, and your nose are red, are you alright?" He walked towards me, and helped me up.

"Are you alright?" He asked again

I didn't answer, he didn't asked more, he just removed his umbrella, and hugged me tightly.

I needed that.

"You'll get soak too." I whispered on his chest.

"You soak, I soak. Thats what friends are for." He joked.

I would laugh at that if I'm not having crisis inside of me.

"I thought you were with Kim?" He finally asked pulling away from the hug.

That made me cry even more... And he didn't have to ask, he was the only person who knew I liked Kim since first year, and he was the only human who knew about my confession tonight.

He smiled at me, and wiped my tears.

"He's my cousin, but it's his loss. Who wouldn't love someone as pretty as you?" He stated, grinning at me.

I just chuckled at his statement.

" You know what's better when it's raining?" He asked

"what? " I asked back

" Singing. " He replied smiling, raising his two eyebrows

"How?" I asked confused.

He just shrugged and open his phone, taking it from his pocket.

And then he started playing "Yours" (by Conan  Gray )

I grinned at him, as I sang the song with all my heart.

We didn't sang  it silently, both me and Macau couldn't care less about anyone, or anything.

"But I'm not yours

I'm not yours, I'm not yours

I want more, I want more
But I'm not yours

And I can't change your mind

I should've known that it was dumb love
15 dozen roses

All the things that I've done for you not to notice
Can't believe I chose you over all my best friends

What the f*ck did I do in the end?

Just to not be yours"

We were laughing when the song ended, but rain still kept on pouring, and I'm freezing cold.

" What time is it? " I asked Macau

He looked at his phone, and checked the time.

"Let's take you home, my brother will be upset if Im late, it's already 11:30pm" Macau replied.

And I know P'Porsche is worried by now, im pretty sure he is standing at the door way arm crossed.

"Let's go." I said, as we started to walk

Few minutes later the rain stopped, and we're finally at the apartment, I said good bye to Macau, as he said his brother texted him and told him to go home.

And I was right, P'Porsche was standing by the door, arm crossed, and eye brow raised.

His expression changes when he took in my appearance. He ran inside, and came back with the towel.

"Why are you soaking wet? Take a shower inside." He said as he rubbed the towel on my hair.

I took half an hour on the tub, thinking...Maybe thinking for a reason why Kim... Couldn't love me back? And then I cried.

Once I was done bathing, I went straight to my room.

I was shocked when P'Porsche was there on my bed, smiling at me, welcoming me for a hug.

I ran towards him, and hugged him tightly.

"Did you have fun? I can't believe you're graduating highschool" he sniffled

He's being dramatic again.

"I did have fun." I lied. But I think I did when I was with Macau.

"Phi, I'd like to change university..." I whispered

He pulled away from the hug, and looked me in the eye intensely.

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked

"I want to be with mom, I've already asked her if I could go there for college, and she agreed with me. "  I stated. I didn't talk with mom just yet, but she'll agree for sure.

And i don't like to be P'Porsche burden.

Though I still have one month before graduating, I think I should notify P'Porsche sooner.

"Okay, if that's what you want, but I'll visit you every now and then." He said.

He stood up, and kissed my forehead before heading out my room.

Taking a deep breath, I lied down on my bed , and cover myself with the blanket.

I opened my phone... Hoping that Kim messaged me and tell me he liked me as well.

But I didn't get anything at all.

I stared at the ceiling blankly, and let my sleepiness take over me.