"Yearning in Silence"

24

Macau

I've been with Chay ever since we were kids, and to say that I don't memorize all his hobbies, movements, mood, and attitudes will be a flat out lie. I know Chay way too much to, all of his likes and dislikes, his fears and weaknesses. I know Chay's the strongest man I've ever met, he's been through a lot. I know Chay very well, or so I thought...

Chay was always the happy-go-lucky friend in the group, he was the sunshine, he was the kindest, warmest and the softest person I've ever met. If angels were real Chay is one of them.

But the world is cruel to him, no. Erase that. it's not the world, it's Kim. Well nothing different though, Chay's life revolves in Kim, he considers him his home, his life, his world. Chay loved him with everything he is, and the least thing Kim could ever do was to be kind to him.

All Chay has ever did was to love Kim, and Kim loved him too, maybe just a little too late or a little too tiny, that he couldn't fight for him, or express it. Or act like it. When he should've.

The time I saw Chay after the prom, and asked him about what had happened, and he sobbed on my shoulder. It hurts me, it hurts seeing Chay broken for his unrequited love for Kim.

The second time I saw him broken when his mother died, and he kept on blaming himself, and then that shit with Kim happened. I don't know what exactly had happened, but I know it didn't turned out so well.

As the moment Kim went out Chay's room, I noticed him wiping his tears, and then I went inside Chay's room, I saw him on his bedroom floor, crying brokenly.
It breaks me seeing him like that, he doesn't deserve that kind of pain, no one does.

And for the next day, I never saw Kim again, but Im never worried about Kim, he can cope up with it.

What I was worried is the way Chay's warmest gaze, turned cold. His eyes that held so much feelings is now holding an unrecognizable feeling that no one would ever thought existed.

Chay changed, everything about Chay changed.
The way he talks, walks, reacts, everything.

He chose to stay in her mom's place, and told his brother that he'll be fine alone, and P'Porsche was convinced since it's believable that Chay is doing just fine, but I don't believe he's just doing fine, I saw how he slowly loses hope, and then in a snap of a finger, he just... Changed.

So, after convincing P'Pete and P'Vegas that I need to stay with Chay to make sure he doesn't hurt himself, they agreed for me to take an apartment next to Chay's.

A week later, I saw Kim at the university, and I gave him a good punch before I left. He was broken too, I know that. But he needs to have a good punch so he'd make the fuck up on his daze and do something about Chay.

I heard Kim went back to Chay's hometown and asked for Chay, but Chay asked his neighbors to tell Kim that no one lives there anymore, and Kim never came back. Which dumb of him because where else would Chay be? Abroad? Asshole.

I went to the same college as Chay, he made friends, but he wasn't the way he was. He isn't the sunshine of the group no more, somehow Chay became the one who often don't talk, he became more reserved, he became short tempered, that we sometimes ended up quarreling, but we both end up being good at the end of the day.

It's been two years and a half I guess? Since changes with Chay's personality occurs, and I get used to who he is now, but I still missed the Chay that smiles everytime, I missed how he used to be.

He always told me about Kim's email for him, and he never replied to any of them which is good , but I pity Kim a little bit. But I can't blame Chay, I won't blame Chay. Never.

We were now sitting on his balcony , when he told me about Kim's email, and he said he replied, for the first time in two years.

"Oh shoot, he asked me if we could meet up" Chay beams, he plastered a smirk.

I shrugged sipping on my coffee

" It's up to you, and it's been two years I think you both need closure." I suggested

Chay rolled his eyes at the word " closure"

" I told him to set the time and place, and stop bothering me. " He stated flatly, no emotions or so.

" Hm, that's good then. " I answered simply. But what Chay says after that made my eye widened and I grimace feeling a little bit bad for Kim.

" I'll stood him up. " He said, grinning.

" What?! Chay that's too much, he waited for you two years and a half, and you'll stood him up? " I debate

"And what he did ain't too much? Meh he just need to wait for a little while, an hour or five won't hurt. " He said fully unbothered

I never say anything after that, Chay's anger is understandable, and who am I to tell him what to do? He was the one who felt it not me. But I still feel bad for Kim.