"Yearning in Silence"

15

Then
Kim

Chay and I stayed friends. Our friendship did not change entirely. Chay told me last week that he'll get over it. I felt relieved though, I can't think of losing our friendship.

In that past week, we continued to hang out. He treated me the same and I felt so happy about it, I felt at ease that nothing has changed Or so I thought.

Funny thing about it is that, I never really realized how Chay treated back then, I mean not in a detailed way. I knew Chay treats me so well as his friend.

In that four years of being his friend I just now realized that Chay did a Lot of things for me.

Today I asked Chay if we could walk home together, as Macau refused to come with us since his brother fetch him.

We went to convenience store first.

Back then Chay would always asked me what I wanted to buy, or he would just buy my favorite snacks, which is... He didn't do today...Or even yesterday or the day before that.

When we were walking home, Chay would always talk a lot about anything random, about what comes to his mind, and he'd always tease me on how dusty my shoes get after cleaning the room, and then draw a smiley face on it.

He would always look back when he is walking ahead of me, and wait for me as he smiles genuinely.

Chay would always want to walk beside me, and laughed everytime I joked.

We'd always have race on our way home.

He'd always ask me to come to their apartment and eat or play guitar, or just watch or whatever.

He'd always reply to my messages and picks up his phone immediately.

But this past days he stopped doing those.

He stopped asking me to walk home with him. He walks home with Macau.

He stopped asking me what I wanted or buy our favorite snacks.

He stopped walking beside me, or even looking back when he walks ahead, I had to run towards him to be able to walk beside him.

He stopped talking nonstop, he stopped laughing at my jokes, or draw something on my dusty shoes to tease me.

We stopped racing on our way home.

He stopped asking me to come to his apartment or even replied to my messages...

He stopped doing all of the things he used to do, and I was wondering if it was because of his confession, was he still upset? Of course he is. And he ain't the only one who's upset, I am too.

I am upset because I've hurt him, and I can't love him back. But I want our friendship back. I want him to be the same again.

"Chay!" I called running towards him to walk beside him.

"Are you alright?" I asked

"Yeah, I don't see why not?" He answered

" I don't know... I just think you've been distant"

"Kim, you're overthinking things. I'm good." he answered smiling, his eyes oppose to his words though.

As soon as we arrived at their apartment, he ran towards his brother and hugged him. I didn't move on my spot, just stood there as I watch them talk.

Porsche finally noticed me, he smiled at me and waved his hands.

" Your brother's are here!" he shouts

That's when Chay looked back, he was smiling genuinely, his eyes does not hold the sadness it held earlier.

" Come here Kim, why are you standing there?" he called.

I suddenly became aware of my heart and its ability to beat rapidly. It must have been because I didn't expect Chay to be smiling beautifully towards me.

Maybe Chay is right, maybe I was just overthinking things...

Sighing out of relief, I walk towards their front door, and I was met by the chaos inside their apartment.

Macau is taking care of his younger brother Venice, Vegas and Khun are bickering again, Pete being between them. Kinn nods as he sees me. Porsche went on their kitchen as he continues to prepare foods. Kinn following behind him.

Chay greeted everyone smiling.

"Oi Kim! help me get rid of this trash here!" Khun shouts pointing at Vegas.

"Who the fuck did you just call trash?!" Vegas answered. and then they continued bickering.

Macau handed Venice to Pete. He walks towards us, and greeted Chay.

" I'll leave you two here, I'll just change my clothes" Chay excused himself, and went to his room.

" You should change your clothes too first, Kim" Macau stated, pointing that I'm still wearing my uniform.

"Porsche called for me, an you didn't say you'd come here." I said, sitting on the couch.

" I didn't know, man. I thought we were going to have family day and shits." he defended

"shh, no cussing in front Venice." Pete scolded covering Venice's ear

Macau gestured a peace sign, and mouthed 'Im sorry'

Chay came down wearing his comfortable clothes. He walks towards us flawlessly.

I heard Macau whispering "I think you like him too."

I glared at him, and told him. "No." Sternly

"Okay, no need to be mad, Chill."He shrugged, while smiling.

" What's the occasion, and why is everyone here? " Chay asked Macau

" I don't know, all I know is that we're having lots of foods. " He answered excitedly

Chay looked me up, and down, as he smiled.

I like to see him smiling. I want to make him smile more....

" Aren't you gonna change your clothes? " He asked.

" Later, why? Do I stink?" I asked, smelling my uniform.

"yeah dude, you do! " Macau teased

If Chay isn't around I would have smacked by now.

" Let's eat! " Porsche shouted from the kitchen.

They prepared lots of food.

Chay, Macau and I were sitting next to each other. It was chaotic even when we were eating.
Khun, and Vegas never stops bickering.

But we had a good laugh. I looked at Chay the entire time he was laughing. He looked so beautiful. He looked so precious.

I wish I could keep it like this, I wish this never ends.

'Being around him, feels like home.' whispered my heart

'Them.Being around them feels like home"  my mind corrected.