Nervous | Aonung

.LXI

It's all my fault

My fathers limp body lay in my hands as I stare down at him. His blood was everywhere, on him, on me, on my hands. The crimson color coated my entire hands and scream of horror ripped from my throat.

I wave them around recklessly as tears continued to break out of my eyes and drench my cheeks. I needed to get the blood off them.

"Hey, hey, I'm here," Aonung grabs my hands, holding them. "I'm here."

I lean back onto his chest as my dead father still lays on my knees and Aonung holds my hands. I sob quietly.

"Can I get a cloth?" I hear Aonung ask the Navi around him.

I should've never left my Mauri. I should've stayed with him and then Talo would have never found him. More tears spill down my face as I think of all the ways I could've prevented this.

If I weren't born my mum would still be alive and he would've stayed. He would still be alive. It's all my fault.

Aonung takes one of his hands from mine as he grabs the cloth the Navi handed to him.

"Thank you," Aonung thanks the Navi.

He brings his hands back to mine as he began cleaning my fathers blood off my hands. It won't go away though, it never will. His blood will always be on my hands as I'm the reason he's dead.

He's dead

"No," I whisper quietly.

"Shh, it's ok," Aonung kisses my head.

"No," I cry.

It's all my fault

Aonung puts down the cloth he was cleaning my hands with as he hugs me tighter. I stare down at my dead father, his lifeless face. I knew him for one week. One fucking week.

"It's all my fault!" I cry to no one in particular.

"No it's not," Aonung says in my ear.

I don't believe him

"Come back!" I scream in English.

He taught me English

"It's going to be ok," Aonung tries to reassure me but I just kept sobbing loudly.

"No it's not," I cry.

This is all my- Talos fault

It was like my brain clicked. Memories fell into deep places and my mind flashed with why my dad was here in the first place.

"Oh my Eywa," I realise, sitting up suddenly.

I put my arms under my dad and gently place him on the ground. Caressing his face, I lean down to kiss his forehead.

Part of me wanted to keep crying, stay with my dad and hold him forever. But the other part of me wanted revenge.

Aonung places his hand on my waist as he kneels down next to me. We sit together, my eyes closed and his opened. Mine filled with tears, his filled with sorrow.

I stand up, wiping my tears away as I began walking towards the waters where Aonungs Skimwing will be.

"Hey where are we going?" Aonung asks. "What about your father?"

He stands in front of me, blocking my path as he rests his hands on my biceps.

"'You don't break promises'," I repeat the leaders words.

"What promise?" Aonung furrows his eyebrows.

"I'm going to kill Talo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~