Random Smut Oneshots 😩😩😩

🏳️‍🌈 2023 PRIDE🏳️‍🌈: gay sponchbob x male reader

mother is back 🤑🤑

starting off with gayness and spongebob cuz tbh I can't think of any funny ships and characters

and I dont think I've done a male reader??

as a womon, I don't know what gay sex is like because I am a womon and also I've never even touched a dick so thats that #virginsarecool

anyways

pride topic: GAYYYYYYYYYYYY SLAYYY 💅

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sponchbob pov
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"garrrreeeeeeeryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy where is my pocket pussy sponchdaddy needs to rub one out rq" I yell into the empty, dark void known as my living room.

I impatiently wait for his reply, as it is a time sensitive request. I'm horney and hard as hell rn and need to satisfy my urges as soon as posible.

Gary, of course, is a fat lazy peice of shit who doesn't do shit around this house, and the only reply he could muster was "mreow"

skank.

I begrudgingly lift myself off of my living room chair, as my 14 inch long sponge cock flops off my lap and starts dragging behind me, creating a trail in the sand.

I'm on my way out of my living room and into my kitchen when I hear my front door open right behind me.

I turn around to meet the eyes of my coworker, y/n.

he's a nice gay I mean guy, but he's sort of a twink. he's def closeted because no straight man has THAT good of a skincare routine.

and yet he caught me, with my dingaling just floppin about.

caught in 4k ☹️

"w-w-woah, s-s-spongebob I uh- uhm-erm- I just stopped by to drop off your spaturler but I see your uh- kinda busy. i can c-c-come. I MEAN come back later uhhh" he says, shielding his eyes out of courtesy.

but I notice something odd-

"no stay. I see the tent building up in your pants and I'm not one of them mentally ill gays, but a holes a hole and I need to stick my 15 inch sponge cock into a hole so get over here and bend over" I said rather seductively in my deep voice. I may have been exaggerating with the length but hey who cares??? size doesn't matter!! it's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean <3

he whimpers at that, as I see his twitching cock in thr outline of his pants.

I quickly run over to him, and start licking his earlobes whilst palming his pp

his moans fill the room, and next thing I know, we are in my bedroom, undressed, and in breaking bad cosplay.

"oh god Jesse you're so hot ugh Jesse let me cook" I say, dressed as brian cranstons character in the hit show "breaking bad", Walter Hartwell white.

"mister white please cook inside of me please full me up with your special sauce ungggg" he says, dressed as Aaron Paul's character in the hit show "breaking bad", Jesse pinkman.

I slowly run my hands up and down his luscious body, imagining I'm running my hands down Jesse pinkman's body in the drug van.

"are you ready baby boy? are you ready to be bred by mister white?" I say, as I grab my sponge cock and position him doggy style, giving me access to his lowkey flat ass.

maybe after this I can buy him a bbl who knows 🙉

"yes mister white please please breed me. I want your thick and long veiny sponge cock. I want your flushed pink tip, hex code #ba7073. please mr white I NEED IT"

I violently grab his ass and shove my yellow, porous meat stick into his tight, puckered hole, and start going to pound town.

his pancake ass was bouncing on my dick like a goddamn bouncy house.

I reached down to stroke his own veiny slim jim while hitting it from behind.

"oh god mista white don't UGHHG don't stop please spongebob"

at that I stopped and slapped his ass, leaving a red mark shaped like my hand.

"you do NOT call me spongebob in bed. I'm MR. FUCKING WHITE TO YOU."

then I started pounding even hard then before, and I can feel my climax approaching.

he must've been close to, as his whines were increasing in pitch and quantity.

"I'm going to breed you and you will have all of my little sponge baby's, my little omega" I said, giving my last few thrusts.

"please mista white, fill me"

this sent me over the edge, as i buired my cock deep inside him, as I filled him with my white, warm semen, and he spurted his own cream all over the bedsheets.

I take out my dick as we both collapse on the bed, covered in semen.

it doesn't take long until we both fall asleep wrapped in eachothers arms.

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ur pov cuz pov changes r hot asf
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I wake up in a strange bed-

oh yeah, that's right... I slept with sponchbolb 🙂

but im oddly clean, and clothed.

last I remembered, I was covered in bodily fluids-

I get up, and start walking to the kitchen, where I see a light on.

I walk into see spoloplchborb, surrounded by beakers and viles, making something odd.

but I also see a bag of what appears to be-

"slopochslsopolcbob are you making crystal meth?????"

he turns to look at me, startled, still in his Walter white cosplay.

"why yes, y/n. it's made special with your semen, as well as
Acetone
Anhytdrous Ammonia (stored in propane tanks or coolers)
Brake Cleaner
Brake Fluid
Coffee Filters
Cold Medicine Containing Psuedoephedrine or Ephedrine
Drain Cleaners (Drano or Liquid Fire)
Ethyl Ether (Starting Fluid)
Iodine Crystals
Laboratory Glassware
Lighter Fluid
Lithium Metal / Lithium Batteries
Lye
Pool acid / Muriatic acid
Psuedoephedrine and Ehphedrine
Red Phosphorus
annnnnnnnnnnnnd Sodium Metal."

"oh god I know you did not just tell me the ingredients to meth. what the fuck is wrong with the author-"

"author? what the fuck are you talking about"

"yk, the author that is writing this story-"

"y/n what are you talking about"

"idk this is too confusing give me some of that meth"

and then we did a shit ton of meth and fucked some more and then we went to a pride parade but accidently overdosed so we ended up in the hospital covered in rainbow glitter, while singing "born this way" by Lady gaga as we were fading in and out of consciousness.

the end.

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pride shot #1.

hopefully I end up doing more idk.

I hope this was funny.

have good day and stay gay.