In A Relationship With Enhypen Jungwon [Completed]

21 | If Only I Could Say Something

It was surreal to be back in the land of idol world.

"I love the lyrics. Especially the ones where Jennie sunbaenim goes like 'my mom always told me to careful of men'. I find it very cool." I smiled at the radio host. "It was like a dream come true when Midnight Blues got to cover 'playing with fire' by Blackpink sunbaenim."

Ae-Cha took the lead and started talking about the group's goals and what we were looking forward in our lives together. Olive had already done her solo debute. Now it was either me or Ae-Cha on the list. Lavender was supposed to do her acting debute soon. Ruby was working on a Chinese survival show as a mentor.

The show went on a break, and Enhypen's latest comeback song started playing in the background. My heart dropped in my stomach because Jungwon's voice boomed through the speakers. Ae-Cha gave me a subtle glance. I might have jumped in surprise. We both laughed to make the incident look like a joke. It wasn't.

"Midnight Blues are always focusing on the heartbreak, and the girls are themselves causing this mess. Like they're self sabotaging the good relationship." The host read the script. "What do you think about it?"

"I think we all have self sabotaging tendencies. Don't you think so?" Lavender shrugged. "We are humans, and when we fall in love with someone, we treat them as a God. Sometimes that thought makes us feel like we're not worth it. Because for us that person becomes something else. We can never never feel worth that way."

"Woah. That's a good explanation." Ruby clapped. Even the radio host looked impressed.

I zoned out. Thinking about Jungwon. How much I had hurt him. But, again it was the only way he could move on. Ara did the right thing. I still have no idea why she interfered, but her reasons didn't matter. Jungwon deserved better. I wasn't worth the hassle. It was a good thing he didn't like me. The heartbreak won't be that much now. He would be fine.

"Teal is learning to cook nowadays." Olive held my hand. Shit. I nodded, coming back to the present. "I'm also learning to play piano from her. She's really good at it."

I kept nodding. Read my script. Smiled. Pretending to be goofy. Made hearts for the fans. Acted like a cheerful girl, my role in the group. I was empty from inside though. I held hands with fans. I cheered them up with my messages. I told them everything would be alright. That I was also here. That life would be beautiful again.

"Are you okay?" Ae-Cha asked. I nodded. "Okay. Karma is a bitch. This is how you felt when you asked me about Beomgyu and I discarded the question? Is that it? You're taking a revenge?"

I chuckled. "No, Ms leader. I'm really okay. Just got a lot in my mind. We're again going on a world tour. 5th group anniversary coming up. Feeling a bit nostalgic."

"Then tell me your thoughts. Your nostalgia. Or is it only reserved for Jungwon?" She teased.

Oh Ae-Cha had no idea what had happened between me and her friend. What we were. What we weren't anymore.

"He's annoying. I would rather keep my thoughts to myself." I stuck my tongue out, and she ruffled my hair. We got into the car. I kept pretending everything was okay until I left the girls to meet my parents for the second dinner within a month. "God save me," I muttered under my breath.

I scrolled through the twitter on my way, and sighed.

- Teal acting like she's a Pretty Savage. Girl you're only petty ugly. Plastic monster.

- The way she stares at the male idols shamelessly. Like gurlll. Leave stay kids alone.

- I can't believe she's the same Teal who charmed everyone in her debute era. Nowadays her charms and visuals (even if they're plastic) are falling flat.