I don't deserve you | YoonMin | English

(IX) 'Don't.'

A few weeks passed.

On a fine Sunday.

Jimin went to Yoongi's house and picked him up. He drove to a restaurant. They reached on time and Jimin met Hoseok for the first time.

After ordering their food, Jimin couldn't sit still. He constantly glanced around.

Hoseok said, 'So, Jimin-ssi...'
Jimin said, 'Yes, Hoseok-nim?'
Hoseok said, 'I'm just 27. Drop the honorifics.'
Jimin said, 'But... I'm 26.'

Hoseok said, 'Call me "hyung" then! Hobi is my nickname.'
Jimin said, 'Okay... Hobi hyung...'
Hoseok said, 'Sounds great...'

Jimin said, 'You can call me by my name.'
Hoseok said, 'Alright, Jimin-ah...'

Jimin smiled in response. Yoongi coughed twice and cleared his throat.

Hoseok said, 'What's wrong, hyung?'
Yoongi said, 'Nothing. Isn't it, Park Jimin?'
Jimin said, 'Uh... I guess...?'

He was clueless about Yoongi's actions.

Hoseok said, 'It's strange. Yoongi hyung isn't close to anyone else other than me. I wonder how you both became close friends within a few months.'
Jimin said, 'Two months, to be precise.'

Hoseok said, 'How did you guys meet though? I mean, Jimin is younger than you, hyung.'
Jimin said, 'Yoongi hyung, can I say it to him?'
Hoseok said, 'Oh, tell me already!'

Yoongi hummed in response.

Jimin said, 'I saw him trying to jump off the flyover. I helped him that day. That's how we met.'

Hoseok's warm smile dropped as soon as he heard Jimin's words.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. He exclaimed, 'Oh, a heroic entry!'

Yoongi said, 'Shut up, Hob-ah.'

Hoseok acted as if he was totally unaware of Yoongi's suicide attempts.

Jimin asked, 'Uh... Hyung, why do you call him that?'
Yoongi answered, 'I'm too lazy to call him "Hobi-ya". "Hob-ah" is way easier.'

Jimin giggled at what Yoongi said.

Hoseok said, 'Oh...! Dinner is here!'

They had dinner together. It was fun for all of them.

After dinner, Jimin dropped Yoongi at his house first and then, drove home.

Hoseok drove home as well.

The next day.

In the evening, Jimin called Yoongi because he didn't reply to any of the texts Jimin sent him the whole day.

Jimin called him a couple of times but, he didn't answer any of the calls either. He decided to visit Yoongi as he was disturbingly concerned.

At half past seven or so, Jimin came over to meet Yoongi.

Yoongi was on the floor breathing heavily.

Jimin rang the doorbell twice but Yoongi didn't get the door.

Jimin shouted, 'Hyung?! Yoongi hyung?!'

After a few minutes of knocking and shouting, Yoongi finally opened the door.

Jimin stepped in and locked the door from the inside. He said, 'Hyung, what took you so long? I was scared.'

Yoongi stood still without a word in response. He fell on the floor all of a sudden. It was so sudden that Jimin couldn't help him.

Jimin asked in a high-pitched voice, 'Hyung! What's wrong?!' as he tried to help Yoongi stand up but the latter wasn't ready to move anywhere.

Jimin sat on the floor and grabbed Yoongi's left shoulder with his right hand. He held Yoongi by the nape with his left hand and gently placed Yoongi's head on his lap.

Yoongi sobbed silently and grabbed Jimin's left arm.

Jimin asked, 'Hyung, what's wrong?'

Yoongi just breathed heavily in response.

Jimin asked again, 'Hyung, what happened?'

Yoongi didn't respond to anything Jimin said.

Yoongi's phone rang out of the blue.

He stuttered, 'I-if it's Hobi, a-answer it. P-please.'

Jimin nodded anxiously and took Yoongi's phone out of his pocket. He answered it, as it was Hoseok.

Over the phone.

Jimin: Hello...

Hoseok: Hello? Who's this?

Jimin: Hyung, I'm Park Jimin...

Hoseok: Ah, Jimin-ah! Where is hyung?

Jimin: Uh... He's not...

He noticed Yoongi mouthing 'Don't.'.

Jimin: H-he's not here. He went out.

Hoseok: Oh... Is he okay?

Jimin: H-he went out to buy stuff for dinner. H-he's fine. Absolutely fine.

Hoseok: Oh... But why are you stuttering, Jimin-ah?

Jimin coughed twice or so.

Jimin: I guess I've got a sore throat...

Hoseok: Oh... Take care of yourself, Jimin-ah!

Jimin: Thank you, hyung...

Hoseok: Mmm! Well, it's been months since he visited the psychiatrist. He can't just go on like this.

Jimin: What do you mean by "he can't just go on like this", hyung?

Hoseok: He might feel overwhelmed all of a sudden which could lead to anxiety attacks or even another suicide attempt. I usually call him five times and if he doesn't pick up, I visit him. This is the fourth time I'm calling him and you answered it. I do this because I want him to just stay alive, Jimin-ah.

Jimin looked at Yoongi with wide eyes.

Hoseok: These days, I'm busy as hell and I feel like I don't take enough care of him... It's been two days since I called him...

Jimin: Why isn't he visiting the psychiatrist?

Hoseok: I don't know exactly. He just doesn't like it, I guess. Once I tried asking him why and he just said that he doesn't like it because it feels too much to handle.

Jimin: Do they make him uncomfortable over something?

Hoseok: I don't know exactly. Doctor Jung So-Min is very nice to him. She's never rude. I wonder what makes him hate visiting her.

Jimin: O-oh...

Hoseok: Yeah... Ask him to text me when he comes back.

Jimin: Okay, hyung.

Hoseok: I have got an errand run. Bye!

Jimin: Bye, hyung...

He hung up and said, 'Why do you want to hide this from him?'

Yoongi closed his eyes and sobbed silently.