lacuna

Chapter Two

 Fallon's pov

I was running.

I looked back.

It was following me.

My breaths came out ragged and short.

I felt its presence dashing after me.

Leave me alone, I screamed.

It was an endless black ahead of me.

I felt small, running in circles from something I knew I can't escape.

I felt its sharp-toothed grin and thick black shadows reaching out.

Please.

It grappled me, its claws biting into my neck as it lifted me off the ground.

I felt my airway become tighter, slowly closing.

P-please, I choked out.

The grip only tightened, drawing blood from where the talons pierced my skin.

I fumbled at it, trying to make it give me some relief.

My breathing started getting thin and my vision bordered with blackness.

I'm gonna die.

I stopped struggling as everything got blurry and heavy.

Please.

I gasped awake.

The ceiling above me was dark with a hint of blue and my eyes frantically searched my surroundings, trying to calm myself down. My chest heaved, sweat pooled down my spine and my fingers were wrapped around my neck. It still felt as if the claws were digging into me, choking the life out of me. I closed my eyes and counted to ten and then back to one. Once I felt myself calm down a little, I threw the covers away and got up.

The floor felt cold underneath my bare feet as I started toward the bathroom. I flipped on the light, squinting at the sudden brightness, and turned on the faucet. The rush of the water filled my ears as I looked at myself in the mirror.

My braid had loosened some of the strands and they fell around my face, surrounding it. Usually, the chestnut brown of my hair made my eyes seem a darker shade of brown but right now they looked lighter than ever.

Soulless.

Dark circles hung below my eyes and I, myself, was pale. This wasn't anything new. The nightmares, I mean. But I get terrified and messed up the same way, maybe even more. They were getting out of hand recently, more disturbing, and unforgiving. I splashed my face with the cold water repeatedly, as if trying to wash away the fears and shadows that haunted me. I slipped out of my clothes and stepped inside the glass doors, underneath the shower head. Turning the water all the way to hot, I closed my eyes, letting it wash over my cold, shaken body.

It stung, the water. But I savoured it.

I let it burn my skin until it felt red and raw. It ran down my neck, down my arms, leaving trails of pain when it glided over my cuts. I accepted it all, letting it hurt.

Letting it hurt until it can't anymore.

By the time I was done getting ready, my parents were already on their way to work, making me the only person at home. I stared at the cereal bowl I poured myself.

I couldn't eat.

It felt as if everything from last night and this morning would resurface if I stuff myself up. I finally picked up the strength to push away the bowl and stand up from the table. I caught myself in the hallway mirror as I walked past it towards the front door and wasn't surprised when the person I saw staring back at me seemed like a complete stranger. With tired eyes, dark, long-sleeved clothes, and a pale face. I try to avoid looking at my reflection as much as I can. I never saw anything good in it. It'll only ruin my day further.

The first period was English, which wasn't bad. I adjusted myself in my seat and kept my head lowered as more students entered the classroom. It felt as if everybody was looking at me, judging the way I sat and dressed. It wouldn't be a surprise if they did but it didn't do any good to my anxiety. As time went by, I listened to Mrs Fuller go on about how to use correct conjunctions. I was pretty sure half the class was sleeping but I kept my gaze focused on the whiteboard.

Time went by extremely slowly. I found myself zoning out more often than usual and would be dragged back into the lesson with a question or the bell ringing.

I opened my locker after the third period to get my maths books for the next class. People walked past in groups, laughing and talking, some hugging books to their chests, some with their bags slung over their shoulders, and some without holding anything. My sleeve grazed my forearm skin as I was turning around, making me wince, dropping the books I just took into my hand. A group of girls walking by laughed.

Dammit.

Before I could bend down and pick them up, an extra pair of hands collected them swiftly.

"Sorry, I think I bumped into you," the blonde-haired boy said, handing me my books. I didn't mean to look at his face but when I did, I was shocked to see Asher Carwood holding out my maths textbook.

His soft blue eyes lit up as he read the name tag on the book, "Fallon Campbell?". I nodded.

"Hi, I'm Asher" He gave me the cutest smile I've ever seen in years. My cheeks tinged with pink and I suddenly hated how pale I was.

Even basic human contact makes me uncomfortable.

"Hi. Thank you" That's all I said as I took my book, careful not to hurt myself again, and tucked it under my arm.

I knew who he was immediately before he introduced himself. Asher was the typical 'golden boy', 'popular boy' you see in movies or read in books. Except he's nice. Nicer than any other person I've seen in this building. Star football player, tanned, with bright white teeth, and yes, all the girls love him. He reminded me a lot of the innocent toddlers I see around, sweet and immature but more gentleman-like and polite than a regular person. His light gold earrings matched perfectly with his golden hair and I always thought he had the deepest blue eyes. He seemed like a good guy, honestly.

"I've got a class right now, but see you around?" he scratched the back of his neck.

I didn't think so, I wanted to say but I nodded, "Yeah".

He flashed me a grin and walked away with a friendly, "Bye, Fallon".

I shut my locker and hurried to class 12A. People were seated with only a few seats in the front row empty. My maths teacher, Mr Limbrey, stood at the whiteboard, holding a stack of papers. The monthly test papers. He was done checking them? It had only been two days. I cursed under my breath for getting late as heads turned towards me when I entered through the door.

"Sorry" I muttered to him as quietly as I could before taking a seat, keeping my head lowered.

"So, as I was saying, all of you had scored highly to my surprise," the teacher said, his eyes travelling all over the room.

Mr Limbrey began calling out names and handing out the sheets, my name being the first, "Good work, Miss Campbell". I studied the bright red circle drawn at the top of the paper, 98% written on it.

Two marks lower than the prior test.

After handing out the papers, he walked to the front. "I want Miss Campbell to meet me after the class". My head jerked up. As much as I'd love to avoid the lunch period, I was sure I didn't do anything wrong that made me get detention or any type of lecture. Maybe a stupid mistake on the paper? All I could do was swallow my curiosity and sit through the class as he started discussing the paper. I could swear the time went as slow as it could possibly go. 

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thank you for reading!

love,
ri <3