lacuna

Chapter Twelve

Fallon's pov

Eli.

"Eli?" I said, my heart starting to pick up speed.

Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.

"Eli?!" I called, my voice a bit louder.

"Eli, come on. This isn't funny" I stood up, looking over the deck at the water, trying to spot him but it was too dark. What if he was drowning? And I just let him die? I breathed but the air wasn't airing the way air was supposed to.

"Eli?" I called one more time and waited for a ripple or a splash or the black hair peeking out from the water but nothing.

Screw it. I jumped. Water splashed around me and suddenly I was drenched, my clothes weighing me down.

"Eli!" I yelled. Panic started eating away at me as I realized what I'd just done. I couldn't swim. I could feel myself starting to drown and my heart was pounding in my ears.

"Eli?!" I cried out.

I didn't want to die. I didn't even get to say goodbye. Unfair. It was unfair. It was only a matter of time before my arms tire out and I give up.

Like you always do.

I tried to breathe in as much as I could as if attempting to store oxygen inside of me.

"Help-". Something wrapped around me.

No.

I thrashed, trying to peel its grip away but its claws dug into my skin which must've revealed with the water making my sweater move. I was crying, or was it just the water?

Please, no. The grip tightened around me and I was being moved. Was it up or down? I didn't know. All I saw was grey.

My breath was running out. I could feel my chest tighten and block out my airpipe. I was going to die. I didn't want to die. I wasn't ready. Not yet.

Air. I gasped, inhaling all the air that filled me.

"Fallon? Fallon, come on, talk to me, princess" he sounded out of breath. Something cold. Fingers. A hand. It was only a hand. Not claws.

Eli had his hand holding my face, trying to keep it above the water.

I coughed and breathed again. And again. And again. And again. Air had never felt this good.

He swam towards the deck and as soon as I was within range, I gripped the edge and pulled myself up, without so much as looking at him. I hurried towards my bag as I heard him get on the deck as well.

"Fallon, stop. Fuck, I'm-" but I was angry. Frustrated, scared and terrified. I strode towards him till we were only inches apart.

"I thought you drowned," I said, my voice cracked with fear, "I thought you died and I was scared shitless, Eli!". My heart still pounded painfully inside my chest as I breathed heavily. Eli took my arms, which were flailing here and there with anger.

I tried to rip them away from him, "I hate you. Let me go!". I pushed at him as tears escaped and trailed down my cheeks.

"Fallon" his voice was quiet against my loud, harsh ones.

"I-I thought I'd never see you again and that I would never be able to say goodbye to my parents and-and that you were-" I was breaking. Cracking into small pieces and it was all in front of him.

No. Not again. Not in front of him.

"Fallon," he said again but I pushed at him harder.

"You scared me, you rude, selfish, stupid-".