lacuna

Chapter Twenty-Two

Fallon's pov

The sky was a blanket of the night with radiant dotes scattered all over as if someone sprinkled them randomly but ended up creating exactly eighty-eight constellations. Despite the odd coldness and the humidity in the air, giving off signs of rain coming, the artistic formation of stars were bright lights against the dark.

"Do...do you want to talk about it?" I asked, hugging my legs to my chest. The roof was slightly slanted but the ridge provided good support as I sat next to Eli. He was quiet for a while.

Then, "One for one".

"Huh?" I sniffed, wiping the end of my sleeve along my nose. Earlier, I had to immediately stop my mental breakdown when I got Eli's call and by the time I was done readjusting my voice back to normal, the ringing had stopped. But I did dial him back, not understanding why in the world was I so eager and needy.

"A question for a question and an answer for an answer," he said, looking at me. My eyes met his and I knew he was playing one of his games.

"Okay, I'm going first" I shifted as I turned to him fully and hugged my legs closer, "What happened at your house?".

"Nothing," he said, "Nothing apart from the usual". I swallowed, hating how sneaky he was being with his answers.

The usual.

"Did your dad hurt you again?" I said quietly.

He smiled, "No cheating, princess. My turn", he tilted his head, "What do you want to do when you graduate? Like a job or college". I opened my mouth to reply but realised I didn't know.

What kind of person doesn't have future plans?

"I, um..." Biting my lip, I tried to come up with something. Doctor? Did I like being a doctor? No. What about a Lawyer? No, too much talking. A singer, pop star or an actor? No, no and no.

"Fal?". I looked at him, my gaze refocusing on his evergreen eyes.

"I don't know, actually," I told him the truth, exhaling, "I haven't really thought about my future". He stared at me for a while, the breeze tangling his hair to the side and I almost reached out to push it back, to clear his sight, but before I could, he spoke.

"What the fuck do you mean? You're telling me you're one of the brightest students at school with straight fucking A's and the capacity for bigger things, but still haven't thought of college? Or, I don't know, a fucking job?"

I shrugged, "It's my turn anyways, now".

He frowned and I did what I always do, soothing his forehead while asking my next question, "What made you want to hurt yourself?". I didn't remove my hand from his forehead and instead, I let it slide into his hair, relishing the feel of his smooth locks between my fingers.

He leaned into the touch, "My dad...Me. I, um, you know how I always get in trouble and shit? Like how I get in fights and am pretty much a criminal?". I didn't say anything.

"But...Fal, I don't wanna be like him" his voice cracked, "I'm not like him, right? I'm not my father, right?". I stroked his hair, admiring the way the moonlight fell on his face, making his black hair look silvery blue.

"No, Eli. You're nothing like him. I may not know much about your father or you but from what I've seen, you're an amazing person, Eli. You're so special and a great friend to Asher and Justin" I smiled in a way which I thought was comforting.

"Right" He moved away, letting my hand drop and I felt ridiculous.

You made him feel awkward.