Spy School Oneshot Collection

An Ode to my Fallen Desk

The principal memorializes his desk that was destroyed in Project X with a poem.

It's bad, but this is the Idiot writing it, so that's kind of the point.

Thanks to my brother for helping come up with some of these stanzas.

My dear, dear desk,

You were the best.

You lasted for one day,

And your destroyer will pay.

My desk was going to be the best.

It would have passed every test.

Unlike those dumb students-

Never understanding what I meant.

Ripley, that guy really messed up.

I won't stop until he's fessed up.

You were ornate.

You looked so great.

You were made of wood

Like a desk should (be).

I rejoiced when you arrived;

I nearly cried when you died.

The room you were in had a hole,

But you made the room whole.

My desk was grand,

Its future planned.

But that future didn't get to happen.

***

The principal took a step back to admire the poem he'd just finished. Now his poor, deceased desk would be properly memorialized.

He knew that someday the CIA would finally get around to processing his request for a new desk. And hopefully a new office, as well as a building to go with it.

The principal did know that day could be months or even years in the future, but it would come. And Ben Ripley surely wouldn't mess things up another time.

Yes. Someday, Barnabus Sidebottom's life would be perfect. He would get a new desk with no annoying kids around to ruin it. The principal couldn't wait.