Spy School Oneshot Collection

Snippets 4

"You know how to open cans with your bare hands?" Ben asked.

"Of course," Erica said. "What else are you supposed to do if you get stranded without a can opener?"

***

"Mr. Hale, how do you plead?"

"Uhh, not guilty."

"Are you a CIA agent?"

"Er, yes," Alexander said.

"You work for a spy agency but plead not guilty on charges of espionage?"

"Well, yes. You see, I wasn't really spying. I was, uh, failing to spy. I tried to spy, but I wasn't actually able to do it. So I didn't really do espionage." Alexander then smiled, like this wasn't a total misstep, even though he knew he had probably screwed up.

***

"Worse things could have happened," Zoe said.

"Right," Mike agreed. "They could have murdered us."

"See, Ben?" Zoe asked.

"This is still awful!" Ben said.

"Well, yeah," Mike said. "Jumping in the water gave me wet underwear."

"That's really not the issue here," Ben said.

"Maybe for you," Mike said. "But I'm really worried about chafing. It's the kind of thing that can make your day miserable faster than anything else."

***

"I'm- well, actually, you're CIA. You probably know my life better that I do."

***

"I clearly just have a superior brain," Murray said.

"Yeah, compared to a lab rat," Zoe muttered under her breath.

***

Svetlana was the kind of person to dutifully clean up her yard the day after it had been toilet papered. Erica was the kind of person to try to light just the toilet paper on fire while not burning anything else because she thought it was a fun challenge. They were both the kind of people that avoid getting toilet papered in the first place, but that detail makes this contrast a little useless.