Spy School Oneshot Collection

The Joys and Terrors of Plummeting Day

Takes place after Spy Camp, but while they're still at camp before Evil Spy School.

"Plummeting practice?" Ben asked.

"Of course," Woodchuck said. "How else will you get prepared for plummeting in the field?"

"I've done plenty of plummeting in the field," Ben said. Only once at this point, but Ben thought that once was enough.

"No excuses. It's part of the curriculum and part of my duty to educate you. So get in line."

Ben warily walked over to the side of the cliff to where Erica was standing with the other students. "Can't you need to have some top-secret meeting with me?" Ben asked Erica.

"Like with the run?" she asked, then shook her head. "Sorry."

"But I don't need the practice," Ben protested.

"Yes, you do. Everyone here does," Erica said, then shoved Ben off the cliff and into the river below.

He screamed. A lot.

"That was C-level work, Ripley," Woodchuck said once Ben climbed out of the river. "You survived the fall just fine, but we can't have screaming in the field. Get back up the cliff and go again."

Ben knew he had no choice but to accept this wet and terrifying fate, so he turned and trudged miserably back up the cliff side. At least it was so steep that he figured that he would get a long break in between plummets. Unfortunately, climbing up the cliff was also no fun. Especially since Erica passed him twice on the way up. (Erica enjoyed plummeting. For her, this was way better than being on a roller coaster. No one else thought this. Many of them had mysteriously gotten food poisoning on plummeting day. Ben would have too if he had known it would be plummeting day.)

"Alright, last ones of the day," Woodchuck said once Ben reached the top. (Woodchuck was passing everyone as he went up the cliff and plummeted down again and again. For fun. So maybe Erica did have company in her love of plummeting, but it certainly was not a love of the majority.)

Ben tried to slink off, but Erica stopped him. "I am perfectly willing to push you off the cliff again," she said.

"I'll do it myself," Ben said. So Erica jumped. Except Ben didn't plan on following her.

"You're not getting out of this, Ripley," Woodchuck said, and he went and pushed Ben over the cliff himself.

And so, after that experience, Ben made sure to get "food poisoning" right before every single plummeting practice after that. It usually worked, but sometimes Erica threw him over the cliff anyway because some people just find pleasure in the strangest of activities.