Spy School Oneshot Collection

Erica's Top Ten Rules for Dating Ben

Because I had to do her side of this too.

1.) Ben already knows your family is weird. There is no use trying to cover up the fact that your father is watching you and Ben from down the street while poorly disguised as a mail carrier. Just acknowledge that he's there spying on you, and then try to ignore him.

2.) Don't be intimidating. Okay, yeah, you know, maybe that's not really possible here. Still, do your best and just try to be less intimidating than normal. Ben is your boyfriend, not an enemy you're trying to interrogate. Remember that.

3.) As much as you want to point out all of the crimes being committed around you, try not to. You'll still do it sometimes because... you're you, but try to cut down on it.

4.) Try to get Ben to talk about himself. He (very unfortunately) knows way too much about you, so act like you don't also know way too much about him. And definitely don't tell him the truth, which is that you went and found out all sorts of things about him for yourself. (Though, to be honest, he has probably already figured that out. He is quite smart.)

5.) Don't let Mom talk in front of him because no matter what she says, it's bound to be embarrassing one way or another.

6.) Don't make Ben seem like a fool if you can avoid it. Try to cover for him. Just don't lie - you don't want to accidentally create another Alexander.

7.) Don't think about what Joshua did. Ben is not like Joshua, and he never will be. So try not to worry about that.

8.) Stay on top of things. The most important part of dating Ben is keeping him alive. So do that.

9.) You don't have to try and act normal all the time. If Ben wanted a normal girlfriend, he would have dated someone else.

10.) Try to relax. Unless you're on a mission, in which case, you should never relax. Relaxing on a mission might make you violate Rule #8, which would be very bad because it's hard to date someone who's dead.